Natural Is No Longer Good Enough

So I was dating this girl and she was super hot. She was hotter than the firey furnace, she was so hot if you threw the three Hebrew boys into her they would burn! Nebuchadnezar would have loved her. To put her in perspective on a scale of Queen Ifrika to Kaci Fennel she was a solid Lisa Hanna. On our first day together we went to the beach. Long story short, I never called her again. If your beauty is easily washed away, so is your man.

Society has influenced the belief that a woman’s beauty is defined by light spotless skin, perfectly symmetrical face, long hair and  straight nose. While the perceived idea of beauty is very seldom found naturally many women make attempt to achieve it through the use of accessories, make up or surgery. It is not only confined to females as modern men are altering their phenotype. This is done to:

  1. Increase self confidence.
  2. Attract partners.
  3. Improve social acceptance.

If we cannot accept the beautiful simplicity of nature, the inevitable biological degradation will be quite stressful.

I have made the observation that we don’t accept natural as readily anymore. Our women aren’t real or food aren’t real and our lives have become virtual.

Entertainment

Since the mass progression of technology, we now find entertainment primarily in electronics. Television is now in almost every household you visit while Playstation and Xbox fight for dominance in the gaming industry. We are determined to keep up with the latest episodes of hit TV shows but fail to commit to an exercise program. Individuals would prefer to watch a football ball game, athletics or other sports on television instead of enjoying the game by playing it or watching in person. This is good business for television stations who thrive from the ad revenues but viewers become attached to the isolated artificial lifestyle.

Food

We want it fast, we want it tasty. Foods are being processed to improve the shelf life or the taste (MSG). It has become so bad that we eat more for the taste than for the health benefit. We live to eat. It was proven through research that Seventh Day Adventists who were vegetarians lived up to 7 years longer than the omnivorous population. It is ironic though that a well prepared vegetarian meal can be very tasty.

The deviation from the natural gives rise to new diseases and increases the frequency of lifestyle diseases. We exercise less while eating more unhealthy foods and as such type 2 diabetes increases every year. Various kinds of cancers are also on the rise. It is unfortunate that given the fast pace world in which we are living, it is difficult to change most of these on a large scale. It is our duty to chose what we eat wisely, exercise and we will look and feel better, naturally.

-Aldeam Facey 2015

The University Of The West Indies Supports Farmers

Imagine a world where you could shop for fresh produce at an upper class University but pay downtown prices. Well you don’t have to imagine it, the University of the West Indies (UWI) has made it possible.

UWI Farmers Market August 2015 www.lifeofajamaican.wordpress.com

This Friday UWI will host yet another farmers market to make it easier for students and staff to access quality fresh produce at the most competitive prices. At the end of each month UWI invites sellers from the Coronation Market (Downtown) to sell their food on campus. They are given tents which are placed on the lawns directly across from the School of Nursing or MITS, Just beside the new hall.

The farmers sell all the ground provisions, fresh fruits and vegetables that are currently available or in season.

UWI Farmer's Market www.lifeofajamaican.com

Cars line up to get it while its hot.

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Feel free to negotiate with the farmers, they are very reasonable!

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I always try to make it early, so I can catch the worms. #earlybird
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With prices so low, they are literally saving students’ lives!

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Lovely flowers are also sold. Enjoy shopping in the ambiance defined by good Jamaican music.

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This union UWI has formed with the farmers/sellers is mutually beneficial and I hope this initiative continues indefinitely. What I would really like is for this event to be hosted a little more frequently. If staged every fortnight it would eliminate the need to travel to downtown to purchase food. Given the shelf life of fresh food, students and staff would still have to visit downtown while they wait for the next farmer’s market.

-Aldeam Facey 2015

Why Do Jamaican Men Love Trinidadian Women?

During a discussion with a friend of mine, we both noted that many of the Jamaican men are hunting the Trinidadian meat. It led to the question; why do we find the Trinidadian women so appealing? Is it the accent? Is it the culture? Is it …. the ‘wine’?

I never had much association with our Caribbean neighbors until I was enrolled at the University of the West Indies, Mona (UWI). UWI, your place to shine, the premier institution for tertiary education in the Caribbean, the school of the culturally integrated. I had the opportunity to engage with and learn of the various cultures in the Caribbean which are all very interesting. But one of the most striking things for me was the relaxing, erotic accent of our Trinidadian neighbors. Thats one thing I wouldn’t mind listening to all day.

I spent a year boarding at the AZ Preston hall, the hall of halls, the hall of the specially selected few, the place where everyone wants to live, but not everyone gets to, the hall possessing the most visually appealing landscapes. While living at AZ Preston hall I engaged in several hall activities and enjoyed the various competitions the hall had to offer. I can recall so very clearly, while yet a ‘press man’ not yet worthy of the “Prestonite” title, there was a competition, a ‘wineing’ competition. Yes, there was a Trinidadian girl involved. So all of the Jamaican girls did their thing and I thought they were pretty good, until the Trini hit the stage. She did unspeakable things with her waist! My mind was blown at the girl with the super rotating waist! She was so flexible, acrobatic and energetic, all eyes were glued on her. She did it with such ease and I never looked at her the same way again.  We eventually became very good friends.

For some reason whenever I see a Jamaican man with a Trinidadian woman, It is almost always a long term relationship! They last! I refuse to believe its just the accent or the ‘wine’, there is something here and I just can’t put my finger on it. Are Trinidadian women more faithful? Are they more willing? The Trinidadian culture is very different, there are certain things that most Jamaican ladies frown upon, that the Trini ladies enjoy doing (the art of deduction becomes quite necessary here). It appears that its the exciting nature of the Trinidadian women that we find appealing, a combination of several variables instead of one particular thing. Once a Trini lady has a grip on you, you’re tied.

I spoke with another friend of mine who was in a long term relationship with a Trinidadian lady. He says it’s not because she is a Trinidadian but men just like something new, something different. Variety is the spice of life and the combination of two different cultures always produce something exciting.

Is this a wake up call for our Jamaican ladies? Should they be worried? Should they be doing more to excite us?

– Aldeam Facey 2015

The Use of English in Jamaica

English is the language of Jamaica. But while standard English is seldom used in informal conversations, it is clearly understood by the population. More frequently we use the Jamaican patois, our creole language which was conceived through a mix of Spanish and English. It is a significant part of our culture and is often used to socially classify the population. Our creole can be broken down into three groups: the basilectal creole – most contrasting to the standard English, to foreigners, it will sound like a totally different language. It is usually associated with the deep rural areas of Jamaica and it is not consistent across the country. Most frequently spoken at the western sections of the island. Acrolectal creole – closest to standard English, most frequently used by the ‘upper class’ citizens. Mesolectal creole – the average of basilectal and acrolectal creole, very frequently used in daily conversations by the average Jamaican.

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Example: If one were to ask “Whose is this?”

Basilectal: “A fufah dis?”

Mesolectal: “A Whofah dis” or “Whose dis?”

Acrolectal: “Whose is this?”

It is the presence of this vast variation in the language that makes English – the very easy subject – a challenge for many students. It also is a limitation to learning. If the language is not mastered at an early age, students may get left behind in the class room as teachers use acrolectal creole/standard English.

General Language Use

Standard English is used as much as possible in business places, banks, schools and often times churches. It is a good indicator of one’s level of education and mastery of the language becomes quite useful even internationally. It is very important to know when to use the variations of Jamaican English. If you go to the market, do NOT use standard English or you will pay the price for it. Also they may not clearly understand if you use jargons or different units (kg vs lbs).

The ‘H’ Displacement

Ave you hever noticed the BIG problem many of us have pronouncing the letter ‘h’? I tried convincing a group of persons recently that I’m actually a thug. But in my explanation my clear pronunciation of the ‘h’ in thug significantly reduced the credibility of my statements. It makes sense as a robber would not be taken seriously if he said ‘Let me have your purse’ versus ‘Yow oman gimmi dis’. The former statement may be greeted with some form of physical defence while the latter, with compliance. In Jamaica we throw the letter ‘h’ all hover the place. It is often placed where it shouldn’t be and removed where it is needed. With increased education comes decreased frequency of displacement. this issue is so bad, that I was complimented by my teacher in primary school for saying “thirty three” instead of the more frequently used “terty tree”.

We should be proud of our creole and make attempt to remove the stigma attached. English is the language of the country but the standard is not the most frequently used. If you are not able to speak standard English don’t be ashamed of using the creole. It is much more embarrassing to attempt to speak standard English when you can’t, than it is to speak creole.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Conflict Of Interest #5: Should A Married Couple Have Sex On The Sabbath?

So, you are a married man, you waited for decades to have your wife. Now, at the most exciting time of your life, you hear “No sex on the Sabbath”. Is this a law justified by the holy bible? Does the vagina, after 6 days of labor, need a rest day too? Does it become a holy hole on the holy day? Or is the shop still open for business? Let’s talk about it.

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What can and cannot be done on the Sabbath has always been an interesting topic. I have been asked silly questions like: “Can you eat on the Sabbath?” or “Can you talk on the Sabbath?” I am going to quote two scriptures from the bible, read them and think about them a second:

Exodus 20:8 Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Isaiah 58:13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

So at church one Sabbath we were discussing this very intense topic. Of course there were parties supporting opposing views. On one hand, persons stated that it is a holy day and the activity must not be done. One the other hand some say the union is blessed and one can praise God in passion. The latter point I find very amusing. My church brother in support of this view stated “If a lunch time and I waa go home go cut a piece nothing nuh wrong wid dat”. Often times when I see him slip out after lunch all I can say is ‘Let God be praised’.

But on a serious note, the bible does say we should put away personal pleasures on the Sabbath day and sex is always pleasure (right?). It is a day we should join hands together completely focused on our heavenly father. One day without sex won’t kill you. But what are your thoughts?

-Aldeam Facey 2015

Aquasol Beach Review!

With sand so white it may discriminate against you, air so clean it may reverse the effects of smoking and with wind so gentle, so consistent, it will blow your sins away, Aquasol Beach and theme park will not disappoint.

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The beach stretches about 100 meters. There is another 100 meter stretch on the left side which seems to be out of use.

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Purchase a ride in the glass bottom boat!
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Volley ball court.

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Life guard on stand by.

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So many features, unfortunately not all were up and running when I visited.wpid-dsc_0014-01.jpeg

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Food, drinks and ice cream on sale!

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These landscapes make awesome wallpapers!

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Feet of a Jamaican 😉
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There is a barrier in the water where the depth ranges from a little under 3 feet at the shallow ends to over 6 feet deep at the center.SAM_1844

An outside shower is usually expected at the beach. Get that sand off!
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Cost 400 JMD for adults and 300 JMD for children.

Video Panorama:

Unfortunately most of the proposed features were unavailable but even so it was still a very good beach.

I give Aquasol a rating of 7/10.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Blue Hole Review

I haven’t been in a lot of holes, and by no means do I consider myself a ‘holey’ man but of all the holes I’ve been in, it is now official, blue hole is my favorite hole. It may be wide and deep, but when I dived in – head first – I didn’t want to get out.

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At 30 feet deep I would never recommend jumping in without a life jacket, unless you are an EXTREMELY good swimmer!

Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (10) Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (7) Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (11)Swinging and diving in is the dangerous, yet most fun feature of the “main hole”. There are also a few mini caves under the falls which are really cool!

Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (9)Designated lifeguards are not available! The tour guides can swim and do offer assistance (primarily to females) but you are, for the most part on your own.

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Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (23) Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (37)There is a fun hike to the other falls. The water is not as deep here, approximately 15 and 20 feet respectively for the last two images.

Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (48) Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (51)The fun is found in the very real danger! YOLO?

Blue Hole St Mary 6.8 (57)The blue hole was more fun than I had expected. My suggestions for improvement however are:

  1. Increased safety – Paid lifeguards and more available life jackets. Life jackets are provided upon request with the $500 (JMD) entrance fee however they are in limited supply!
  2. What would make this more fun is a zip-line!

Remember to tip the tour guide for their service! That’s how they “eat a food”. My tour guide swam with my camera, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to take most of these photos.

I give Blue Hole river and waterfalls 8/10 I highly recommend it!

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Conflict Of Interest #4: Dating A Friend’s Ex!

There is an unwritten “Bro code” that must never be violated. A law we all know but never discuss. Your friend’s girlfriend is off-limits, permanently. I have never been attracted to any of my male friends’ girlfriend. Not that they aren’t attractive women, but when they become involved with my friend, they become my sisters. Under no circumstances do I support dating a friend’s ex, it is wrong in so many ways. But if all parties are okay with it, I guess the awkward union may survive.

I remember I met this fine young lady, she was just right. We engaged in long conversations and made plans to go out. Just before we had the opportunity, she asked me if I know a certain man. I gladly said yes, “a mi gud fren”. She expressed how much she hated this man and upon inquiry I found out they dated. She immediately grew a penis, beard, mustache and a deep voice. I never called her again, not another word was exchanged.

Jealousy - Life of a jamaican

So I recently found out that my good friend is dating our friend’s ex, without his knowledge or his consent. Now I’m not the kind of guy who gives a blind eye to the dirty elephant in the room, I won’t cover my nose as the elephant releases it’s huge bouts of flatulence. I am the one who stabs the elephant in the throat, get rid of it and clear the air.

At first I saw the suspects having a good time together. I assumed he was offering support in her time of trouble, but mother Mary come to me, he wasn’t offering any words of wisdom, so I couldn’t just let it be. I asked what was going on, but many corners were taken and no destination reached. I was shortly after unfortunate enough to be a part of a conversation involving the young lady and her former partner, both friends of mine. All questions and answers were directed at me, even when they were answering each other. It felt like I was having two individual conversations. The tension between them was so high, I was shocked!

I then asked the ‘new boyfriend’ how he felt about the issue and he did admit it felt a bit awkward. They are all good people though, and I wish them all the best, but this union, my friends, will take some time to settle in my mind.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

The Pearly Beach Review!

The Pearly Peach is located in Ocho Rios St. Ann, right next to the Laughing Waters. I entered the ‘Pearly Gates’ for the first time exactly two weeks ago. I didn’t know what to expect but I really enjoyed the experience.

The Pearly Sign
The Pearly Sign

The beach is equip with two lifeguard watch towers.The Pearly Beach Ocho Rios - Life of a Jamaican (4)

Two volleyball ‘courts’.

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Adequate space for a football game.

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And if you feel the need, you may walk down to the left end of the beach, just to laugh at the neighboring waters.

Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha

The beach is just about 110 meters long by my subjective estimate.
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At the shore there is a roughly 10-15 degree incline. The Pearly Beach Ocho Rios - Life of a Jamaican (11)

There is a safety barrier placed in the water where it is just a little less than 5 feet deep.

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There are excellent bathroom facilities and adequate space for picnic or storage of baggages for large groups. 

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I had a fun day playing a hilarious game of “Starvey”, volley ball etc. It was quite entertaining to see adults playing “Dandy Shandy” a game I ruled in my childhood.

Take a quick look at the beach here:

It’s a good beach, but as is expected, you have to bring the vibe. My only critiques are:

1. One small section had some leaves and other plant debris. Fallen leaves are unavoidable but frequent cleaning can solve this problem.

2. I’m not a fan of the incline at the shore.

With that said I give the Pearly Beach a very strong 7/10.

– Aldeam Facey 2015