Conflict Of Interest #4: Dating A Friend’s Ex!

There is an unwritten “Bro code” that must never be violated. A law we all know but never discuss. Your friend’s girlfriend is off-limits, permanently. I have never been attracted to any of my male friends’ girlfriend. Not that they aren’t attractive women, but when they become involved with my friend, they become my sisters. Under no circumstances do I support dating a friend’s ex, it is wrong in so many ways. But if all parties are okay with it, I guess the awkward union may survive.

I remember I met this fine young lady, she was just right. We engaged in long conversations and made plans to go out. Just before we had the opportunity, she asked me if I know a certain man. I gladly said yes, “a mi gud fren”. She expressed how much she hated this man and upon inquiry I found out they dated. She immediately grew a penis, beard, mustache and a deep voice. I never called her again, not another word was exchanged.

Jealousy - Life of a jamaican

So I recently found out that my good friend is dating our friend’s ex, without his knowledge or his consent. Now I’m not the kind of guy who gives a blind eye to the dirty elephant in the room, I won’t cover my nose as the elephant releases it’s huge bouts of flatulence. I am the one who stabs the elephant in the throat, get rid of it and clear the air.

At first I saw the suspects having a good time together. I assumed he was offering support in her time of trouble, but mother Mary come to me, he wasn’t offering any words of wisdom, so I couldn’t just let it be. I asked what was going on, but many corners were taken and no destination reached. I was shortly after unfortunate enough to be a part of a conversation involving the young lady and her former partner, both friends of mine. All questions and answers were directed at me, even when they were answering each other. It felt like I was having two individual conversations. The tension between them was so high, I was shocked!

I then asked the ‘new boyfriend’ how he felt about the issue and he did admit it felt a bit awkward. They are all good people though, and I wish them all the best, but this union, my friends, will take some time to settle in my mind.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

By Aldeam Facey

Aldeam Facey, PhD
PhD in Biochemistry
I paint
I write
I vlog
Chess, badminton, esport advocate

10 replies on “Conflict Of Interest #4: Dating A Friend’s Ex!”

You’re mean to the elephant. You couldn’t just kindly escort it of outta the room?

What about when you and tht ex simply cannot part on friendly terms, so you avoid tht person at all costs, but your friend maintains a strong connection to the ex anyway?

Liked by 1 person

Nope, it’s a similar code. You can still be friends with tht ex if your friendship was tht good, but if you and your bro were as close, then there’s supposed to be a certain wall up btwn you and the ex. It’s not putting up a wall tht led to your friend ending up with the ex in the 1st place


Its not a different issue, its still a friend dating a friend ex.
If you respect your friend and value the friendship, certain boundries will not be crossed.
What if the friend had decided to ‘cut’ him off upon finding out? That would be a lost friendship that could have be avoided. Its better to just avoid certain situtions.

Liked by 2 people

Since you explained that when you say ‘strong connection’ you mean friends then thats cool, because if 3 persons are friends and 2 are no longer friends it doesnt mean the next party has to chose side.

Liked by 1 person

I beg to differ with you,the heart wants what it wants my dear……..society is the one that has a stigma against dating your friends ex.If my heart love him and if he loves me I shouldn’t date him because he is my friend’s ex….I see no problem


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