Pages Cafe: The Upper Level: Where UWI’s High Class Eats

Ever wondered where UWI’s lecturers and principal eat? Ever thought of taking a girl on a date but you can’t afford to go off campus? Ever in need of a place to practice proper dining etiquette? Well Page’s Cafe the upper level may put all wondering thoughts to rest.

Entrance: Staircase to the right, all invited

I did a review of the best place to eat on campus recently and Page’s Cafe did not top the list due to the high prices. The review only focused on the lower level. Recently a head of department took me to a lunch meeting at the upper level (the Deck).

The Upper Level
The Upper Level

I was alarmed at the excellent customer service provided! Why isn’t that replicated at the lower level?

The Lower Level
The Musically Themed Lower Level

After that experience I was inspired to use Page’s catering service. I was very pleased with the result. I thought it would be a good idea to review the upper level and the manager was fully supportive of this idea and was even nice enough to offer a free meal!
Page’s Cafe offers a special menu every Thursday “Gourmet Thursdays” and that day was selected for the review.
I took a financially unsound young lady to assist with the review process to make it a bit more objective.


I had the ackee salad, reggae rice, tossed salad and salmon. The meal was very good, I especially enjoyed the ackee and breadfruit salad. We arrived late so the salad was not as warm as I would have liked, but good just the same. The reggae rice was really jammin’ so none was left for disposal. I was not a big fan of the butter fish fillet and salmon, it was ok but in my opinion not great.


I must commend the manager Mr. Brown who offered exceptional customer service. I guarantee you will never find better customer service on campus! We did not have any cheese ravioli and he personally took a plate for us to try. It was wonderful! At least the bit I got to taste. Should I take a more financially sound person next time? In my opinion she thoroughly enjoyed her meal.


This is what my fellow reviewer had to say:

“The reggae rice was my favorite part of the meal. Extremely savory, but the herbs did not overpower the overall flavor of the dish. The black eyed peas in the rice paired well with the Salmon. I’d eat the salmon and the rice together as a complete meal by itself. If Pages should add the reggae rice and the salmon to their regular menu, I’d gladly pay an additional $100 to the usual (exorbitant) cost.”


Fancy cakes and fruits forms a regular part of the dessert menu.

Pages Cafe

It is important to note that due to the high operating costs, the quality of the meals and the service provided, it is more expensive when compared to the average dining options. Visit the Deck today and let the manager know you were referred by Aldeam’s blog and you may just get a discount!

You may also find Page’s soup, pasta salad and sandwiches at the UWI book shop.

Are you willing to give the Deck a try? Let me know in the comment section below! Two lucky persons will be treated.

-Aldeam Facey 2015

Here Is Why You Should Never Fall In Love

Love makes us do stupid things. Love limits, restricts and causes more pain than can be inflicted physically. Quite possibly the well known statement that love lacks the ability to perceive visually is true. It is also said that to be fool twice places a huge bout of embarrassment upon you. So it is with experience in the field of the fools that I express myself. Do NOT fall in love.


I remember one eve I was traveling home in a tightly packed coaster bus. I couldn’t feel my legs but I knew they were there. I was sleepy, fortunately my girlfriend at the time was sitting beside me I leaned my head on her shoulder, she had massive muscular shoulders. I fell asleep for a quick minute embracing her, only to be awaken by a violent earthquake. The earthquake was proceeded by sincere apologies. It was not my girlfriend at all, but rather a strange man. Thankfully he was nice enough not to punch me in the face.
I thought about my girlfriend all the time I could feel her beside me when she was not there. I was face deep in love with her. I could not number the sacrifices I made for her. I just wanted it to work. Long story extremely short, I accidentally found pictures of her on her flash drive when she asked me to print something for her. They were not pictures of landscapes or paintings, not pictures of the ocean or birds, they were images of happiness, heterosexual reproduction and infidelity.
I blamed myself for her mistakes. Shame on me. But I learned a valuable lesson so I wholeheartedly thank my ex for making me the man I am today. No emotions, all logic.
Years later I dated another lady, when the inevitable end came, I hardly felt a thing. It had assessed the relationship and though I wanted it to work, I knew the likelihood was low. My approach to that relationship was more logical than emotional. I highly recommend that approach.

Here is what you should do

Yes, similarities between parties form the basis of relationships. The same is true for societies, political parties etc. If you join a badminton club, most likely everyone in the club enjoys badminton. You would be able to enjoy long conversations, games and events all relating to badminton. Badminton then becomes a relationship glue. In relationships, the more ‘glue’ you have the greater the chance the relationship will last. That way you enjoy the same things and you enjoy doing things together. Sex can be a powerful glue but eventually it cums to an end so one must find other engaging activities to keep the relationship going. One should pursue a partner with whom they share several interests and where the differences are few and tolerable. With time you will GROW to love each other. It is always possible for any relationship to fail but what goes up too fast will lack the foundation to stand and is most likely to fall.

Don’t fall in love, grow in love. Let’s just take it slow.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

10 Reasons Why It Is Better To Be Straight

There are straight people, there are gay people, there are those who are in between, there are those who have not yet decided and there is nothing we can do about that. But while the world more openly accepts the vast variations of orientation, we must be mindful that there are implications. Traditionally speaking it is much easier and better to live as a straight person. Here’s why:

      1. You get to go to heaven

God made the the heavens and the earth and all that is in it. He made Adam on the sixth day, saw that he was lonely and so He made for Adam, a beautiful woman, Eve. Man sinned and as a result was destroyed.

Look at this proof that God does not support homosexuality:

Genesis 19

“And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground;

And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant’s house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.

And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.

But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:

And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,

And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.

Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.”

So the men from Sodom wanted to have sex with Lot’s male visitors and Lot said, I have virgin daughters you may have! They refused and insisted they should have the men, even Lot was threatened. The men from Sodom were later struck with blindness and the city destroyed by God. You may read the rest of the story in Genesis.

So many years after the eventual destruction of the earth in the mighty flood Jesus came to sacrifice himself for our sins. He did so and ascended back to heaven. But before he did he said he would come again to take us to heaven with him. In order to make it to heaven we have to accept and love God and love our neighbors. God said If you love me keep my commandments (John 14:15). If we do not keep his commandments, how can we express love?  We already established God’s reaction to homosexuality, which LIKE ALL SINS pulls us away from him. It is not too late to choose a different lifestyle.

      2. Getting married

A few countries have made the move to legalize gay marriages but many countries still do not support it. Here in Jamaica, the consideration is a thought none would dare to verbally express. A straight couple would not have any problems getting married, no one would refuse to issue you your marriage license. If a Jamaican wants to receive the benefits of marriage, they may have to move to the USA. Who would want to leave sweet sweet Jamaica?

     3. Making babies

It is not possible biologically for a Gay couple to reproduce. You will need to either adopt, use a surrogate or a sperm donor. These alternatives may either be time consuming or expensive when compared to the traditional method. It is also impossible to produce a child who shares genetic information with both parents.

 4. Avoiding discrimination

Unfortunately, homosexuals are often discriminated against and this will continue. Being a homosexual places you in a minority group. So I guess if you are black, under 18 and gay you’d be a minor minor minor (M cubed). Being Gay in Jamaica can prevent you from getting a job, renting a house etc.

      5. Maintaining the integrity of your anus

I stumbled across some readings which stated that solid waste sometimes flow from the anus of gay men involuntarily! I was also told gay men sometimes have to use a douche and bleach their anus. These are problems straight men don’t have to consider.

  6. Threat of death

While married gay men may live longer, in Jamaica the odds of facing early death is quite high. Openly expressing your homosexuality is more often than not greeted with strong opposition. Many times homosexuals have been beaten or even killed.

7. Respect

In Jamaica men give respect to others who are strongly heterosexual. Gays are seldom respected and are frowned upon especially in the workplace.

    8. Family rejection

If you have been to New Kingston Jamaica then you would know that the men who were living in the canal (the gully queens) are mostly young men who were thrown out of there homes because of their sexual orientation. Most persons here do not want gay relatives.

      9. The joy of difference

They say opposites attract and it is quite thrilling interacting with someone of the opposite sex. We were biologically programmed to appreciate these interactions. Do homosexuals find as much pleasure interacting with the same sex? Quite possibly the difference may be quite irritating and one may want to have someone who understands them. But it is this difference that brings joy to the world. You may also observe that in a gay couple there is usually a partner that assumes the male role while the other, the female role. Subconsciously gays know this difference is significant.

  10. STDs

While STDs are prominent among the general population, research has proven that STDs particularly HIV is much more pronounced in gay men. It is particularly easy to transmit HIV infections through the anus.

Gays are not as free as the straight population. There are no major religious groups which supports homosexuality. But as time passes the gays are becoming more liberated. While I oppose the lifestyle, I encourage you not to discriminate against any homosexual. Show them as much love and support as you would a straight person. Remember God loves us all the same even though we are all filthy in his sight. He hates the sin but loves the sinner. Pray for all gays that they will be prosperous but even more so that they will find God’s truth for themselves.

-Aldeam Facey 2015

Poem: Guineps: Taste And Buy

Suh mi guh Downtown fi buy some clothes,

And a Sella man stop in front mi wid a pose.

‘Taste and buy di Guineps dem sweet.’

‘Fifty dolla and mi gi you a bunch fi eat.’

“No mi boss mi caa buy none mi guh Inna Manhattan and mi money jus done.”

‘Please mi bredda mi baby need fi eat.’

‘Him still a drink breast milk and him have 32 teeth.’

“Alright alright gi mi a taste,

If it sweet mi wi buy and come out a u face”

Him give mi a guinep and it sweet suh till,

MI seh give me 2 bunch so mi can guh home guh chill.

Mi buy 2 bunch and carry it a yard,

But when mi taste mi seh a wah dis laad?

Fi di rest a di day mi feel real sad,

Suh him mek mi taste the good bunch and sell mi the bad.

Yuh caa trust dat sella weh say taste and buy,

Just know say is a gamble and if you lose nuh badda cry.
– Aldeam Facey 2015

Conflict of Interest #6: Donating Sperm To A Lesbian Couple

A challenge that is faced by homosexual couples is the inability to naturally reproduce genetically related offspring without violating their sexual orientation or the use of a surrogate. Lesbian couples are pronounced especially around the major cities in Jamaica. Due to the gender bias that exist in the island, Lesbian couples are not targeted as much as gay men and can more often be seen together in public.


A sexually promiscuous colleague of mine, who gave me the approval to use his dilemma in this conflict of interest series, was asked to donate semen to a Lesbian couple. At first I didn’t believe this nonsense but the truth lies in the details, which I found very interesting.
So the couple wants to get pregnant right now and asked my friend to assist in the process. Upon hearing I comically asked “why aren’t they pregnant yet?” The details provided some insight. The agreement was that he would please himself and release the associated juices in a container or please himself and finish inside the vagina of each woman. What a dreadful task! They also indicated that he would have no part of the child’s life, no need to support in anyway.
Knowing how sexually promiscuous and immoral my friend is, it puzzled me to know the girls were still not pregnant. My friend said he is not sure he wants to do it as he does not want to have a baby across the world he doesn’t know about.
Aldeam: “So wouldn’t that make you a typical Jamaican man?”
Anonymous doner: “No sah mi nuh inna dat.”
I think some of my good morals rubbing off on this fellow! I wish more of our men were like that.

What would you do?


He donated!

-Aldeam Facey 2015