There is no simple answer to the question; “Which parish is the best one to visit in Jamaica?” if you want to run away from your wife and have a secret affair for the weekend, there is a place for that. If you want to run away from your husband with your girls and feel like 21 again, there is a place for that. I won’t expand on that though because that is not the kind of lifestyle LOAJ supports. #workitout. The best parish in Jamaica all depends on your purpose. But after completing my island tour and visiting almost every free and paid beaches and attractions I think I can provide insights as to which parish is best for you.

The best parish for business

Kingston. Runner up St. James, Montego Bay.

Well duh! These are the only 2 official cities in Jamaica naturally these would be the ideal places to conduct business. With the specially designated business districts in Kingston and St. James these cities continue to grow in population and infrastructure. If your sole purpose is business you will find no better place.

Mandeville, Manchester and Portmore, St. Catherine are honorary mentions as their growth rate is significant!

Best parish for beaches

Westmoreland . Runner up St. James.

The 8 mile long white sand beaches along the coast of Negril Westmoreland is as good as it gets! Clean waters, accessible food stores and tons of entertainment. This parish is a very good place to take your side piece but an even better place to take a whole meal. St. James features some nice beaches as well and is definitely worthy of a mention.

Most peaceful parish

Year after year we note that Portland has the lowest number of homicides. If the entire island had such low numbers, police officers could work from home. It’s so pieceful that if I went there to live I’d probably be an area leader #Donfacey. While Portland is nowhere near being the best parish for business and is not a wealthy parish, it is remarkable how the murder rate is kept so low. Research is needed to determine all the factors influencing this low rate.

Hidden treasure award

Portland has some of the most incredible places of attraction! Whether it is Frenchmans cove or the Blue lagoon the list is endless. But thile the west coast is popular for tourists, it is time to look more to the eastern side as Portland has a lot to offer! Runner up, St. Thomas

Best Parish to buy weed

Ok, I have a confession. Maybe this one was posted to mess with the SEO but since you are already here. Let me give it to you. According to reggae singer Chronixx “Westmorelan have e baddest one”. Some truth here. If you want to get the highest grade in class. Westmoreland has the best teachers.

Best place to buy East Indian Mangoes

Yes I had to create this category. St Thomas. About a month ago I took my mother to St Thomas JUST so we could buy East Indian mangoes! This is the best place to buy them as they are much more reasonably priced there, and the mangoes being sold in kingston and St. Catherine are often times purchased from other vendors in St. Thomas. I don’t think I need to re-emphasize how good east Indian mangoes are! Ok.. here!

Feel good parish. St Elizabeth runner up st Portland

This is highly subjective but every time I drive through St. Elizabeth or Portland and I see the peaceful farming communities and the camera ready views I simply melt. On my island tour my first night was spent in St. Elizabeth. I literally did not want to leave! My island tour journey has been captured on my YouTube channel ‘Life of a Jamaican”.

Most balanced parish St. Catherine

St. Catherine the parish for everybody it’s good for business, there are areas of attraction for locals, a few mediocre beaches, farming communities and an excellent balance between urban and rural living. Whenever I say I’m from ‘country’ people would ask ‘what parish?’ then say ‘that’s not country’ when I tell them St. Catherine. Being one of the largest parishes in Jamaica allows for that kind of diversity. Most people in St. Catherine don’t know places like Giblatore or Top hill, but they all know Spanish Town (former capital of Jamaica) and Portmore (next city?).

Affordable get-away for locals.

Hanover. No one says let’s go to Hanover for a trip. But being right between the best parishes for beaches it is expected that you will have some attractions there. The 8 mile beach stretches into Hanover and the other few beaches on the coast are completely free. While some expensive resorts are here, among the western end of the island you can find very cheap get-away areas.

Best Parish for Tourists

St. Ann. Home to the tourist hub, Ocho Rios St. Ann is so packed with rivers, falls, beaches, craft markets, hotels and other attractions that it’s the only place a tourist needs to visit in Jamaica to have a mighty good time. It’s also a great spot for locals and the variety here keeps visits fresh at all times. This is my go-to parish for road trips.

Best parish for producing Athletes.

Trelawny. What if I told you Usain Bolt, Veronica Campbell-Brown, Michael Frater and even Ben Johnson were born in Trelawny? Is it the yam? Whatever the reason, this parish produces the world’s best sprinters.

Best parish to learn the American accent.

St. James. Runner up Westmoreland. For some strange reason many persons in this region love to bring good news in an American accent. Always informing persons of the millions they have won. Apparently with much success. It may be due to the significant interactions with tourists that makes them so eloquent in American English without ever visiting the country.

Best parish to plant bananas

St. Mary. Done know mi affi give the fire man parish a shout. The name of the parish is also the name of a popular brand of the Jamaican snack, banana chips. So much banana is produced here and they obviously thrive!

Parish with the worst road

Clarendon. Bad road is a thing in Jamaica. Every parish has it. But I made the mistake of driving on the alligator pond main road during my island tour and I will never make that error again. The road was so bad that at most areas I had to decide whether to scratch the side of my car on the thorns to one side of the road or drive through pot holes half the size of the car.

Note that these are simply my opinions based on my experiences. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Bless.