A Strange Thing Happened At My Wedding – I Wept

We may recall exactly one year ago, I wrote an article about a good friend who got married. I described him as being a weak and feeble man for crying at his wedding. Maybe not in so many words. He had been mocked for a year for breaking down in tears, stumbling like a child over his words as he made his vows. To be frank, I was alarmed at such weakness.

The Queen on her throne

Well, I tend to put my foot in my mouth. I was exposed to the same situation on November 24, 2021. I got married to the most beautiful woman in the world. I am from a culture of toxic masculinity. Brought up in an environment where men don’t cry. A place where tears are associated with femininity and childhood. On my wedding day, however, the walls of my masculinity were torn down.

Leading up to the day I did my usual bragging about the lack of tears in my glands. I bragged about the differences between me and certain men. A cocky childish thought that nothing could expose my soft side. I was so confident that nothing could make me display any form of weakness publicly. The night before the wedding I was jolly and laughing with the guys, ready for what is to come. My wife-to-be was nervous about all that was going wrong before the wedding day. She was also nervous about the big move. She had the wedding Jitters. I looked at her. Poor thing. Crying her heart out. I went back to chat with my friends and had a good laugh with no care in the world. I was not nervous at all.

A Strange Thought

On the morning of the wedding, I sent my love a video to let her know that I’m ready for a lifetime with her. I later found out how impactful it was for her. It was a very early morning wedding. The most beautiful day of my life. I am still waiting on the photos at the time of writing this but I’ll be sure to share some on this website. When I arrived at the church I started to feel a little tingling. My heart started racing as I came to the realization that this was the big day. I would be sharing my life with the love of my life for the rest of my life. At this moment it hit me. I became so nervous. The groomsmen surrounded me and did a great job ensuring I didn’t escape in the nearby bushes. They thought I would run off with the wind.

A Strange Feeling

As I made my way up the altar my face was flushed. Excited? Yes. Sure of my decision? Yes. So why was I so nervous? I stood at the altar with my back to the door. I was shaking like a leaf. Pastor Ming indicated that I could turn around and I did. As I looked at my bride, who was as glamorous as ever, standing beside her mom, I could just faint. I shook my way down to her and took her by the hand. The heart rate recorded by my smartwatch far exceeded my normal range and I was not exercising.

A Strange Fluid

A strange fluid filled the back of my eyes but I remember all the tough chat I had leading up to the big day. In fact, the man I mocked for a year was one of my groomsmen. I, therefore, had to ‘man up’ and hold it in. My bride had other plans for me. As we progressed throughout the ceremony the pastor indicated there was a surprise for me. My bride had prepared a song for me. I was unaware. She sang so beautifully and my heart was filled. Trust me when I say I fought the tears with all my might, but she hit every note so profoundly well that I felt like I was going to explode. Her eyes teared up a little. I couldn’t look her in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. I looked up and away from the crowd as I did not want them to see the flood. I lost the fight. I did not break down bawling. I held it together well enough but the tears did find their way through.

A Strange New Perspective

At the end of the reception as I give my final charge. I expressed my new view, my new insight, my new perspective. We need to change the culture of male emotional suppression. It is ok to cry. It doesn’t indicate weakness and it’s nothing that should cause us to be ashamed. In fact, if your man doesn’t cry at your wedding, does he even love you? (I make trouble here 👀)

Jesus Wept. I will move forward with the notion that I am now more like Jesus. I must also mention that while a little weeping endured for the morning, so much joy ‘came’ in the evening.

#CallMeJoy #ManCanBawl #NotOnlyPlayBall #AldeamWept

3 thoughts on “A Strange Thing Happened At My Wedding – I Wept

  1. Congrats on your wedding! May you and your new wife have many years of wedded bliss. I have photographed a few weddings and I love the weepy and starry eyes that the happy couple display. It is simply the best!

  2. wifeoaj says:

    You’re a bigger man for this! ❤

  3. Janice Reid says:

    Good to hear this from a guy. Any wise woman would rather have her man show his emotions than keep it in. Good for you!

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