The life and Death of Gully Bop’s Tooth: A Chew Story!

Gully Bop is the name of a Dancehall artiste who has had a sudden rise to fame after an amateur video of him performing went viral. Within a few months he transitioned from being homeless to performing at arguably Jamaica’s biggest stage show, Sting! Physically speaking, Gully Bop is not the most well groomed man you had ever seen and possibly not the most handsome you had ever met either (I’m trying to be nice here). However, these are the features which clearly distinguishes him from the scores of other artistes fighting to excel. His most unique features are his teeth – or the lack thereof. I could just imaging what his teeth had experienced over the years.

Gully Bop
Gully Bop

From a tooth’s point of view:

“Hi, I am Fronty – Gully Bop’s front tooth – and I was the last 1 standing. I remember years ago when I was born, there were 32 of us but life was so hard. Sighs. I remembered when we all had to sell our enamels just to buy a little calcium, shed our plaque just so our master could eat. Our master refused to take care of us, but we understood, as fortune was not on his side. Sometimes we were fortunate enough to get a little food from the dump and we would have fun masticating it. I would slice a piece of expired bun and throw it over to Sidey and finally Sidey would pass it on to Backy. Sighs, oh Backy, I miss that fat dude. Even though he smelt so moldy that we often called him Molar lol (tears). He was the first to leave us. Backy had very rocky days before he fell. The most saddening thing is that when we fall, no tooth fairies come for us, no wand wielding, tooth carrying, gravity defying beings come for us. There is no one willing to leave a dollar under master’s stone when we die, in memory of us.

Sidey stood by me through thick and ‘tin’, for we had to learn to bite through tin cans as well. There are nights we would beg to be brushed, but neither the willingness, the resources or the interest was there. In cold nights we would cover ourselves in plaque just to keep ourselves warm. But whenever you find a plaque to keep you warm at nights, he will use you and cause you to decay. Most nights after being used I felt like a cheap tooth! Master water down and dilute sidey, master hide the colgate from the youte, but the youte dem hold dem root!

One day there was a mighty earthquake. I could hear Sidey shaking, he was going down. I held him close to me

Me: Sidey, hold on!

Sidey: I can’t, the gum is not too strong!

Me: Hold on to me with that sticky stuff that surrounds you, it will support the gum, at least for 30 seconds twice per day!

Sidey: *Sobs*

Me: Don’t wimp out now, you can do it, just 30 seconds of holding me twice per day, sure its a little intense but… Sidey…. Sidey!!! NOOOOO!!!

…..

I was the only one left. I was so lonely, but at least now I had good food and colgate. To add to the satisfaction I often feel a tongue or two rubbing against me so I know someone cares. If only I had my brothers back, life is not happy without them. Even some synthetic, replacement brothers would do, but master doesn’t seem interested in making me happy, such a hype and selfish man he had become. Just to make life worth living, I would sing to entertain myself:

Dem oda teet nuh have root like me.

Dem oda teet nuh nyam food like me.

Dem oda teet nuh bite ‘chin’ like me.

….. I miss dem oda teet.

I got tired of living, so while being cleaned, I wrapped myself in the dental floss and I would not let go! I relaxed my root  and away I flew, never to chew again.

I write this to you from fairyland. I was the only one rich enough to make it here.”

– Aldeam Facey 2015

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I INTERVIEWED A HOMOSEXUAL: IT WAS A VERY ‘FUNNY’ CONVERSATION

The last blog article posted was very controversial. Several friends opposed the very idea of homosexuality, expressing very passionately that “Batty Bwoy fi ded” while others argued for equality. Conversations got very heated and many persons were offended.

The article caught the attention of a certain gentleman on facebook via a group which was created to discuss issues relating to Jamaica. Upon inquiry I was surprised to see him openly confess that he is a homosexual. I took the opportunity to ask him a few questions that have always puzzled me. For the purposes of this blog and to ensure his privacy is not infringed, I will call him “Elton”. I tried to remain as neutral as possible to prevent possible arguments.

The conversation was as follows:

So Elton made a comment based on something I said in the previous article regarding exposing children to homosexuality, I responded:

  • Aldeam Facey I think the exposure will influence their decision from an early age.

 

  • Elton oh okay. so at what age did you make the decision to love girls Aldeam Facey

 

  • Aldeam Facey Well Elton I never had my first girlfriend until i was 18 but i had always been attracted exclusively to females
  • Elton thats wonderful..god forbid u had been “exposed” to homosexualty at an early age you would have found ur first boyfriend at 18 instead?..im asking.. because it seems to me thats what ur suggesting..

 

  • Elton let me ask in planer terms. do you believe that if you even for the slightest were enlightened about homosexuals as you are now when u were smaller, you might have been gay ?

You see what he did here? At this point I could tell this dude is smart. Knowing that I’m not the best at debates I avoided arguments at all cost. 

  • Aldeam Facey Fig thats where you were going… had I been exposed I would probably have a different view which would be in contrast to my religious beliefs.

 

  • Aldeam Facey That all depends on the type of exposure… thankfully I was never exposed

 

  • Aldeam Facey I take it you believe Homosexuality is not a choice …Am I correct?

 

  • Elton well im gay. I didnt choose to be.. so i speak from a place of experience. unlike u who acknowledge that you are pretty much ignorant to this..except for what ur ” infallible ” bible tells u

WHHHHOOOAAA! (That was basically my response when he came out). “Infallible” I think its safe to assume he is not so much into the word. I saw an opportunity and I took it.

  • Aldeam Facey I have never had a conversation with an openly gay person before. Please don’t be offended that I have a ton of questions

 

  • Elton I never am. ask your questions

 

  • Aldeam Facey Did you feel attraction for other boys/girls (“Elton” can be male or female I hope you are male tho) initially? meaning as long as you can remember?

 

  • Aldeam Facey If you had a choice would you choose otherwise?
  • Elton i remember in primary school being extremely attracted to this little indian boy in my class.. so much i couldnt wait for the weekend to finish so i could go see him again,…as long as i can remember i knew i was “different”

I found this so very creepy. Imagine the poor little Indian boy, wonder how that turned out.

  • Aldeam Facey Are you harassed because of your sexuality?

 

  • Elton maybe if i was given this choice when i was struggling i would have taken it.. but i have accepted who i am and have become to love me for who i am , so no.

So he was “struggling” maybe he actually believed/felt that it was wrong, But has now accepted certain beliefs (eg rejecting the bible) in order to be comfortable with his lifestyle.

  • Aldeam Facey how does your family feel about it? (assuming you are a Jamaican living in JA)

 

  • Elton I am harassed.. once my sexuality is known, especially online. i was harassed in high school… bullied, name calling. harassment now is not so much maybe because of my caring family and being resourced enough to avoid it

Its not cool that he is being harassed. But you know what they say, no fish like a rich fish

  • Aldeam Facey ahhh! Good (that u are able to avoid it)
  • Aldeam Facey do you believe you can be both gay and have religious beliefs? given that most religions oppose the lifestyle?

 

  • Elton yes. i know many. You may believe chrsitianity oppose homosexuality, but there are people, christians, theologians, who pull from a the bible the very basics of the gospels and have church on that… beside them there are many among u in the pews who are gay and believes firmly in god.

Say WHAT! Bold statements Elton, very bold statements. To believe that a pastor would preach a “basic sermon” so as to not preach against himself! This world!

  • Aldeam Facey WOW! Christian gays ….contradicting terms
  • Aldeam Facey Do you believe homosexuals in Jamaica should be able to get married? esp with the dominance of the Christian groups

 

  • Elton im not big on marriage. Jamaica must move towards changing its culture of hate towards gays first..jamaica has a high divorce rate anyways.. 1/3 youths are jackets.. marriage is overrated

mmh some truth here! 

  • Elton contradicting to you.

 

  • Aldeam Facey This question may be a little weird …I mean no offense ….but how do you Identify each other? say u c a guy n u interested…how do u know he is not str8!!

 

  • Elton how do u see a girl and know she is straight? this dilemma is not just confined to gay men. how do straight men handle it.. i guess we do in the same way

 

  • Aldeam Facey sometimes I can identify a gay woman (well by assumption) but not always….All the women I approach are str8…. but good to know

He doesn’t give ‘straight’ answers in most cases. But can one expect ‘straight’ answers from a gay man? 

  • Aldeam Facey Given the significantly higher frequency of hiv in the gay community…Is this a major concern to you?

 

  • Aldeam Facey Oh what do you think about Prof. Bain’s dismissal?

 

  • Aldeam Facey Do you think that we (str8 ppl) are now being harassed or treated unfairly for expressing our opinions?

 

  • Elton HIV should be a concern to everyone.. especially jamaicans where its researched and documented that sodomy laws drive these rates.

 

  • Elton like u i await the courts decision. the organization he headed is no long around. i think the message was clear from those with invested interest

 

  • Elton u said that as if all str8 peope have an issue. No i dont think so…but bigotry should be called out.

 

  • Aldeam Facey wouldnt that mean str8 people will become the minority where vocal freedom is concerned?
  • Elton thats a silly question.. did white people become the minority when blacks fought for freedom?

 

  • Aldeam Facey well re bigotry I also believe we Jamaicans are a bit too aggressive towards Homosexuals and i think thats because we dont really know u …which is y m asking so many questions
  • Aldeam Facey I’m obviously not as open minded as you are but I’d like to do some research on this issue

 

  • Aldeam Facey possibly an investigation of the presence of xxy chromosome frequency in male homosexuals

 

  • Aldeam Facey oh one last question do you feel absolutely nothing when you see a voluptuous Jamaican woman?

Its so hard to believe that he doesn’t! Jamaican women look good enuh!

  • Aldeam Facey have u ever tried dating women? I mean when you were younger? Women are real cool enuh

 

  • Elton before anybody writes an article like what u did.. the least u could have done is research..when u write things like that it does add to the fear mongering.. it would serve better if u had written a piece that tells truth or as u said enlighten those who are in the dark

 

  • Elton well ur lasts set of questions can be answered if u substitute women with men… ie. have u ever tried dating a man? do u feel absolutely anythinng when u see a stud? Ur answer to these questions will give u my answer

 

  • Aldeam Facey Getting answers one of the aims of the article… There will definitely be a follow-up there is much truth in what I wrote what I don’t know I phrase as questions….. I guess I have your answer…. I never look at men that way… I guess I’m enlightened now… You don’t really answer questions directly tho but I got the answers via deduction… Its really interesting hearing your views
  • Aldeam Facey Just a bit of advise…. Be very careful where you come out…. Jamaica is nowhere near ready.

Feel free to share your views in the comment section below.

-Aldeam Facey 2015