Conflict Of Interest #5: Should A Married Couple Have Sex On The Sabbath?

So, you are a married man, you waited for decades to have your wife. Now, at the most exciting time of your life, you hear “No sex on the Sabbath”. Is this a law justified by the holy bible? Does the vagina, after 6 days of labor, need a rest day too? Does it become a holy hole on the holy day? Or is the shop still open for business? Let’s talk about it.

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What can and cannot be done on the Sabbath has always been an interesting topic. I have been asked silly questions like: “Can you eat on the Sabbath?” or “Can you talk on the Sabbath?” I am going to quote two scriptures from the bible, read them and think about them a second:

Exodus 20:8 Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Isaiah 58:13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

So at church one Sabbath we were discussing this very intense topic. Of course there were parties supporting opposing views. On one hand, persons stated that it is a holy day and the activity must not be done. One the other hand some say the union is blessed and one can praise God in passion. The latter point I find very amusing. My church brother in support of this view stated “If a lunch time and I waa go home go cut a piece nothing nuh wrong wid dat”. Often times when I see him slip out after lunch all I can say is ‘Let God be praised’.

But on a serious note, the bible does say we should put away personal pleasures on the Sabbath day and sex is always pleasure (right?). It is a day we should join hands together completely focused on our heavenly father. One day without sex won’t kill you. But what are your thoughts?

-Aldeam Facey 2015

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Conflict of Interest #1: Sitting Beside A Smelly Person In Church

Psalms  1:1  Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

The Church is a public place, doors open to all, but as with all public places one must be considerate of others especially where personal hygiene is considered.

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So I was in church yesterday, yes, on the Sabbath day, the day set aside for rest and worship. Shortly after my arrival a gentlemen came in, apparently I was sitting in his seat. I moved aside and allowed him to reclaim his throne. He seemed to be a great guy, very interested in the word. Unfortunately he did not appear to be of perfectly sound mind – but hey, who is? My problem was that his smell was very… very strong and I was not pleased with it. I am not one to scorn a fellow and the whole aim of a Christian is to be more like Christ daily. Jesus interacted with everyone, not once is there a record of Him discriminating. But it was hard for me to sing a note or to recite a scripture. I felt as though I was suffocating. For the duration of the service I breathed out much more than I breathed in, or so it would appear. The smell stained the back of my throat, I could not even swallow my own saliva. I watched as he aggressively took care of the itch on his testicles, flinched as he raised his arm, moved to the right as he moved to the right, to the left as he moved to the left.  I didn’t want to say anything as he may be offended and I did not at the moment have the resources to provide any assistance. Quite possibly he could not have done anything about it, it’s just his situation and without help it may just be unavoidable.

I sat beside him, suffering in silence until the end of the service. What would you do?

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Why We Believe What We Believe

Do we simply accept beliefs based on our culture without personal verification?

Over the years I have noticed that humans tend to accept beliefs which justify their lifestyles. This is contrasting to adjusting ones lifestyle to conform to written laws or truths, the basis of Christianity. It is surprising however, that many Christian denominations also choose to believe based on lifestyle instead of the contrary. All this is based on the fact that we all want to be accepted, firstly by ourselves, we want to be comfortable, minimize the guilt of our consciences, which is totally dependent on one’s belief.

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Look at it from a more practical point of view, homosexuals tend to be atheist, there is no such thing as a Christian gay. Pentecostal, Baptist and so on tend to ignore Leviticus 11, Seventh day Adventist are skewed towards accepting a more republican society.

Can ones belief be changed? Why do we initially believe what we believe?

Our young minds are easily influenced by those within close proximity, especially those who are older. As children we mindlessly accept the beliefs of our parents or guardians, these beliefs seldom change as we grow older. When they do change, it is the influence of experience and or research which is the cause of this change. If I was born a Jew, it is likely I’d be a Jew right now. Likewise if I was born in another church, or born in a family of atheists it is more likely that I would be apart of whatever group I was initially associated with.

But what is the truth?

I went on a quest to find the truth for myself. I was born being told that the Bible is true, that we must obey they laws, that we were made by God. Do I simply swallow the bread placed in my mouth? Or do I make attempt to verify? Not everything is known and research will continue until God comes. After studying the history of the Bible and how the books were compiled I concluded that it was as close to truth as any book we humans have available. So if this book is true, and in it lies instructions, it is my duty to obey. It is your duty as an intelligent human being to find the truth for yourself instead of mindlessly living without purpose. Based on my personal assessments the Seventh Day Adventist message is not flawed as it is based on the Bible, every part of it. Not one section is ignored even if it’s restrictions are not desired.

-Aldeam Facey 2015

My Response To The 100 Year old Virgin

Last week the Gleaner published an article describing a 100 year old virgin. In the article the said virgin indicated that she gave her life to God and that she was never attracted to any man. This is perfectly fine and she must be commended for her strength and for practicing what she preaches which is much more than some of US Christians can say.
I was inspired to write this to replace a scheduled post after a conversation with a deeply religious, super spiritual Pentecostal friend of mine. Let us call her Anonymous A.

Anonymous A: “Hey Aldeam have you seen the article about the 100 year old virgin?”

Me: “Yea I have”

Anonymous A: “Like omg! How does she do that? I could never wait that long”

Me: “Really? Would you wait until say 40?”

Anonymous A:” yuh mad, no!”

Me: “30?”

Anonymous A: “No”

She is very old, just about my age so not much time left.

Tic toc, tic toc.

It is interesting to note the attention placed on this issue. A lady obeys God’s command, which we all should do and she is placed in the Gleaner for it. A few years ago there were 2 ladies, both virgins one 30 and the other 35. They were featured on religious hard talk! Featured! So if one wants to be on television all one has to do is abstain? Wow.
It is also interesting to note that all of these featured virgins are women. I am yet to see a feature on a male virgin who is over 30 years of age. Do these mystical creatures exist? I think there should be a balance between the stigma attached to female premarital sex and male premarital sex.

These are my confessions

When I was a first year student at UWI, I had never seen the insides of a woman, never felt the warm moist clench of the muscle on my muscle. One day in a group conversation in front of the IFLT (Lecture Theatre), a very large busted, Rastafarian girl loudly asked me if I was a virgin. She recognized the innocence in my words, the curiosity in my questioning and was surprised that one could be so ignorant. I felt ashamed, I did not fit in, I was not apart of the fellowship at that time due to my distant commute. I felt like I was doing something wrong by not doing something wrong. Why though? It happened again a few weeks ago while playing a certain sport with a certain group of friends, a young lady asked me “Aldeam are you a virgin”. This was greeted with laughter and very curious eyes, the question was so professionally evaded.

Guys, if you are ‘pure’ sexually speaking, don’t be swayed by the pressure of friends. Do not heed to the temptation, sexual addiction is real. I can’t promise you vaginas in heaven (no sex) but there is joy beyond our imaginations. If you have already tapped the well, as hard as it is a pause is always possible.

The 100 year old virgin is a former school teacher and a proud member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

How to React When an Unmarried Church Sister Gets Pregnant

Pi squared plus the cube root of tan minus the hypotenuse of… Ok scratch that, there is no formula for the quantification of sin. No hierarchal structure segregating the various transgressions. There are no uptown sins or downtown sins, no sophisticated sins or ghetto sins. Sin a sin! No sin is greater than the other and we are not qualified to cast the first or second stone simply because we sin differently.

So a church sister gets pregnant. Yes, it may be a little surprising at first, you are wondering “Should I say congratulations or should I say oops?” Well here is a list of what not to say and what you may:

What NOT to say

“The blood is against you” 

Who gave you the power to put any blood against anyone?

“OMG what happened?” 

Please don’t ask such stupid questions, you know what happened. The penis entered the vagina several times until the… What am I doing? You know what happened.

“Quickly! Get married now!”

Shotgun marriages are things of the past. Don’t force people to get married, especially with the high divorce rate.

“So, you found out how the water walked to the pumpkin’s belly”

If you say this then you are an old 80 year old woman who has never had a spouse all her life and thrives on the mistakes of the young.

“Was it an accident?”

-_- yea, she just tripped and fell right into pregnancy. Again, don’t ask stupid questions.

What You May Say

“Congrats”

Children are blessings from God. Be very thankful especially for a successful birth!

“Is it a boy or a girl”

Express ‘GENUINE’ interest in the baby. Let the couple know you care.

“Is everything okay? Do you need anything?”

Offer assistance where possible.

“Can I be the Godfather/mother?”

Again offer assistance if needed.

And finally, ensure you invite your sister to church. She may be a little embarrassed, but be there to provide encouragement. Spiritual help is needed more than anything to bring comfort.

Sexual temptation is a very powerful thing and as a young man I find significant contrast between the desires of the ‘flesh’ and that of the ‘spirit’.

Flesh vs spirit (A - Facey 2013)

Whenever I see a young lady with a waist hip ratio of 0.6, a concentration of adipocytes around and over her gluteus maximus, who walks as if her spine is permanently concave, quite often my bulbospongiosus muscle does not refrain from contracting itself. So I know too well the difficulties associated with temptation. Without spiritual help, how will we overcome? Humans are not perfect, but thanks to grace its perfectly okay not to be, as we aim to be the best we can. Sexual sins, like lying, stealing and coveting the possessions of others are all opposed by God. It is therefore not fair to judge simply because an individual’s sin has been made obvious, remember God knows our every thought.

Let us encourage and assist each other to avoid sin in all its forms. Pray for the guidance of the holy spirit to direct our every actions and decisions as we recognize that alone, without God, we may do nothing.

– Aldeam Facey 2015