So, you are a married man, you waited for decades to have your wife. Now, at the most exciting time of your life, you hear “No sex on the Sabbath”. Is this a law justified by the holy bible? Does the vagina, after 6 days of labor, need a rest day too? Does it become a holy hole on the holy day? Or is the shop still open for business? Let’s talk about it.
What can and cannot be done on the Sabbath has always been an interesting topic. I have been asked silly questions like: “Can you eat on the Sabbath?” or “Can you talk on the Sabbath?” I am going to quote two scriptures from the bible, read them and think about them a second:
Exodus 20:8 Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Isaiah 58:13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:
14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.
So at church one Sabbath we were discussing this very intense topic. Of course there were parties supporting opposing views. On one hand, persons stated that it is a holy day and the activity must not be done. One the other hand some say the union is blessed and one can praise God in passion. The latter point I find very amusing. My church brother in support of this view stated “If a lunch time and I waa go home go cut a piece nothing nuh wrong wid dat”. Often times when I see him slip out after lunch all I can say is ‘Let God be praised’.
But on a serious note, the bible does say we should put away personal pleasures on the Sabbath day and sex is always pleasure (right?). It is a day we should join hands together completely focused on our heavenly father. One day without sex won’t kill you. But what are your thoughts?
It is well known that having unprotected sex often leads to unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. It is also well known that premarital sex is a sin, so for a Christian abstinence is the default setting that should be employed to avoid the aforementioned consequences. Unfortunately, many of us Christians are tapping the well before talking to Jesus, riding the horse before saddling up, sailing the sea before buying the ship. Only God knows how weak we men are, when women ostentatiously display the flesh before our very eyes. So, considering this weakness, should a Christian make preparations? for the cumming. Does buying a condom make you more likely to sin, even if it was not your intention, provided the risks are minimized? It is better to be safe than sorry, when it rains it is better to be covered than exposed.
Here is my story
It was years ago, long before rainbows filled the Facebook pages, long before Obama greeted the massive, before I knew how to shop for food, I was shopping at UWI’s HILO branch. Yes, HILO, where the prices are high, and the quality is low. I was getting ready to check out when I looked to the left and I saw a variety of condoms. Immediately I thought to myself that I should get a few to save for a rainy day. But there is something very special about our conscience, and conflict of interests will evoke emotions when the conscience is at work. So I looked around to ensure the coast was clear, the store was almost empty, so I picked up a extra large Rider. I hid it in the midst of my groceries then turned around, HILO was full. I didn’t know where all those customers came from but all I could think about at that time was, ‘I have boots in my cart’. I was the last person in line at the check out, three persons in total. This never happened before or after, but every second there was a problem, “void transaction”, so I was waiting there a lot longer than I wanted. To my frustration more customers joined the line. At that point I knew exactly how it feels to smuggle drugs, I just wanted to check out and be on my way. after several interruptions, it was finally my turn to check out. I placed the items on the counter, boots, craftily concealed. The cashier was however moving very slowly and there was something mysterious about the feel of the environment. At this moment a church brother of mine walked in, gave a gentle wave and a smile. Many heartbeats were skipped on that day. I waved back while faking a smile, a very guilty smile. The cashier took up the pack of condoms, so slowly that I wanted to just shout! She looked at it, then at me, then at it, then scanned it. At this moment everyone was staring at me, or so it felt. Quite possibly, they were all minding their own businesses, it was just my conscience. She then left it exposed to open eyes but I hastily bagged it, with my head held down. I left the store with cold sweat running down my face, but I did it! The farmer now had his tools, will he plant a seed?
I know premarital sex is wrong, that is why a simple transaction was that tedious for me. It is better to avoid and wait for the right time.
Men, where it regards a relationship, put a ring in it before you put your ding in it.
I’m sure you have heard of ‘flicking the bud’, ‘scratching the itch’, ‘rubbing one out’ or ‘taking matters into one’s own hand’. Whatever phrase you use to describe it, masturbation is a very well-known activity. Most persons are embarrassed to even speak of it, which raises the question, is masturbation a sin? Is it wrong to masturbate? When temptation arises, is it wrong to find escape in the palms of one’s self?
When I was just a young boy, many moons ago I found some strange changes were taking place in my body. Hair started to grow where bare plains reigned, the berry became blacker and suddenly the ‘weak ones’ took my strength. The boring, egocentric beings became the interesting vessel, the potential receptacle that may rule or ruin my life as I knew it. Being born in the church, holding morals so close to my heart I abstained from such temptations, but I found myself wondering “should I peel this banana plantain to satisfy my hunger?” With no one to commune with but God, who may not provide the answers needed in as obvious a manner as one would prefer, who gives us the freedom to choose and accept the resulting prize or sanctions, I was confused. Later, ministers made mention of it at church and I wrote in stone the 11th commandment: “Touch not thyself “.
But is masturbation wrong? Let us take a look at the history of masturbation.
Masturbation has been around for millenniums and many records convey various myths relating to the activity. In ancient Egypt, when the God’s masturbate it was believed to be a magical act. They believed the universe was created by the god Atum after he masturbated until he ejaculated (Are we living on a ball of hardened cum?). They also believed the flow of the river Nile was a direct contribution of his frequent ejaculations. Pharaohs, at one point, were required to masturbate ceremonially into the Nile.
The ancient Greeks thought Masturbation was a valve to release sexual frustration.This relaxed view of masturbation changed gradually as in the 1600s nannies used the technique of masturbation to induce sleep in the young boys for whom they cared. By the 18th century it was considered self-abuse that would cause an array of diseases. Medications were sold in attempt to ‘cure’ masturbation. Published articles stated that semen was an essential oil, the loss of which had a vast list of dysfunctions, including weakness. It is interesting that even today we still associate the presence of “oil” with incredible strength as during a casual football game, a hard kick of the ball is usually followed by shouts of ‘to much oil inna di back, man naa get nutn’. A sentence assuming one’s strength is negatively associated with sexual activity.
Inventions were employed to prevent boys from masturbating. Students could not cross legs in class and girls were not allowed to ride bicycles or horses because of the assumed sexual sensations. Ladies, do you get a high from riding bicycles or horses? Rumors that masturbation caused blindness, prevents growth and hairy hands were spread and these myths are widely used in comedy today. It was even believed that masturbation caused homosexuality! Like homosexuality, masturbation was a crime punishable by death in the 1600s
In the early 1900 men started to masturbate to prove false what many held as gospel. They found that it did not cause any illnesses. Given that medical care was not half as advanced back in those days and many diseases threatened lives, it was easy to make an association between masturbation and the prevalence of these diseases. They did not investigate the real cause.
Modern studies have found masturbation to be a very healthy act. The disadvantage that was found is that it prevents individuals from enjoying actual sex once they have become accustomed to masturbation.
What does the Bible say about masturbation?
The bible says nothing, at least not directly, relating to masturbation. Genesis 38:9 which is thought to be the first recorded method of contraception is the closest reference. The bible however clearly defines lustful thoughts as sin: Matthew 5: 28 “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Masturbation is often accompanied by lustful thoughts and that is what makes it sinful. Can one masturbate without lustful thoughts? Verse 29 goes on to say “And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” If this text was obeyed, I suppose we’d be slipping on bananas all day.
The covenant God made with his people required circumcision of all males. Circumcision is believed to aid in the prevention of masturbation. Could this be a deliberate attempt by God to prevent the activity?
So, what are your thoughts? Select an answer below and leave a comment.
Do we simply accept beliefs based on our culture without personal verification?
Over the years I have noticed that humans tend to accept beliefs which justify their lifestyles. This is contrasting to adjusting ones lifestyle to conform to written laws or truths, the basis of Christianity. It is surprising however, that many Christian denominations also choose to believe based on lifestyle instead of the contrary. All this is based on the fact that we all want to be accepted, firstly by ourselves, we want to be comfortable, minimize the guilt of our consciences, which is totally dependent on one’s belief.
Look at it from a more practical point of view, homosexuals tend to be atheist, there is no such thing as a Christian gay. Pentecostal, Baptist and so on tend to ignore Leviticus 11, Seventh day Adventist are skewed towards accepting a more republican society.
Can ones belief be changed? Why do we initially believe what we believe?
Our young minds are easily influenced by those within close proximity, especially those who are older. As children we mindlessly accept the beliefs of our parents or guardians, these beliefs seldom change as we grow older. When they do change, it is the influence of experience and or research which is the cause of this change. If I was born a Jew, it is likely I’d be a Jew right now. Likewise if I was born in another church, or born in a family of atheists it is more likely that I would be apart of whatever group I was initially associated with.
But what is the truth?
I went on a quest to find the truth for myself. I was born being told that the Bible is true, that we must obey they laws, that we were made by God. Do I simply swallow the bread placed in my mouth? Or do I make attempt to verify? Not everything is known and research will continue until God comes. After studying the history of the Bible and how the books were compiled I concluded that it was as close to truth as any book we humans have available. So if this book is true, and in it lies instructions, it is my duty to obey. It is your duty as an intelligent human being to find the truth for yourself instead of mindlessly living without purpose. Based on my personal assessments the Seventh Day Adventist message is not flawed as it is based on the Bible, every part of it. Not one section is ignored even if it’s restrictions are not desired.
Last week the Gleaner published an article describing a 100 year old virgin. In the article the said virgin indicated that she gave her life to God and that she was never attracted to any man. This is perfectly fine and she must be commended for her strength and for practicing what she preaches which is much more than some of US Christians can say.
I was inspired to write this to replace a scheduled post after a conversation with a deeply religious, super spiritual Pentecostal friend of mine. Let us call her Anonymous A.
Anonymous A: “Hey Aldeam have you seen the article about the 100 year old virgin?”
Me: “Yea I have”
Anonymous A: “Like omg! How does she do that? I could never wait that long”
Me: “Really? Would you wait until say 40?”
Anonymous A:” yuh mad, no!”
Anonymous A: “No”
She is very old, just about my age so not much time left.
Tic toc, tic toc.
It is interesting to note the attention placed on this issue. A lady obeys God’s command, which we all should do and she is placed in the Gleaner for it. A few years ago there were 2 ladies, both virgins one 30 and the other 35. They were featured on religious hard talk! Featured! So if one wants to be on television all one has to do is abstain? Wow.
It is also interesting to note that all of these featured virgins are women. I am yet to see a feature on a male virgin who is over 30 years of age. Do these mystical creatures exist? I think there should be a balance between the stigma attached to female premarital sex and male premarital sex.
These are my confessions
When I was a first year student at UWI, I had never seen the insides of a woman, never felt the warm moist clench of the muscle on my muscle. One day in a group conversation in front of the IFLT (Lecture Theatre), a very large busted, Rastafarian girl loudly asked me if I was a virgin. She recognized the innocence in my words, the curiosity in my questioning and was surprised that one could be so ignorant. I felt ashamed, I did not fit in, I was not apart of the fellowship at that time due to my distant commute. I felt like I was doing something wrong by not doing something wrong. Why though? It happened again a few weeks ago while playing a certain sport with a certain group of friends, a young lady asked me “Aldeam are you a virgin”. This was greeted with laughter and very curious eyes, the question was so professionally evaded.
Guys, if you are ‘pure’ sexually speaking, don’t be swayed by the pressure of friends. Do not heed to the temptation, sexual addiction is real. I can’t promise you vaginas in heaven (no sex) but there is joy beyond our imaginations. If you have already tapped the well, as hard as it is a pause is always possible.
The 100 year old virgin is a former school teacher and a proud member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church.
Pi squared plus the cube root of tan minus the hypotenuse of… Ok scratch that, there is no formula for the quantification of sin. No hierarchal structure segregating the various transgressions. There are no uptown sins or downtown sins, no sophisticated sins or ghetto sins. Sin a sin! No sin is greater than the other and we are not qualified to cast the first or second stone simply because we sin differently.
So a church sister gets pregnant. Yes, it may be a little surprising at first, you are wondering “Should I say congratulations or should I say oops?” Well here is a list of what not to say and what you may:
What NOT to say
“The blood is against you”
Who gave you the power to put any blood against anyone?
“OMG what happened?”
Please don’t ask such stupid questions, you know what happened. The penis entered the vagina several times until the… What am I doing? You know what happened.
“Quickly! Get married now!”
Shotgun marriages are things of the past. Don’t force people to get married, especially with the high divorce rate.
“So, you found out how the water walked to the pumpkin’s belly”
If you say this then you are an old 80 year old woman who has never had a spouse all her life and thrives on the mistakes of the young.
“Was it an accident?”
-_- yea, she just tripped and fell right into pregnancy. Again, don’t ask stupid questions.
What You May Say
Children are blessings from God. Be very thankful especially for a successful birth!
“Is it a boy or a girl”
Express ‘GENUINE’ interest in the baby. Let the couple know you care.
“Is everything okay? Do you need anything?”
Offer assistance where possible.
“Can I be the Godfather/mother?”
Again offer assistance if needed.
And finally, ensure you invite your sister to church. She may be a little embarrassed, but be there to provide encouragement. Spiritual help is needed more than anything to bring comfort.
Sexual temptation is a very powerful thing and as a young man I find significant contrast between the desires of the ‘flesh’ and that of the ‘spirit’.
Whenever I see a young lady with a waist hip ratio of 0.6, a concentration of adipocytes around and over her gluteus maximus, who walks as if her spine is permanently concave, quite often my bulbospongiosusmuscle does not refrain from contracting itself. So I know too well the difficulties associated with temptation. Without spiritual help, how will we overcome? Humans are not perfect, but thanks to grace its perfectly okay not to be, as we aim to be the best we can. Sexual sins, like lying, stealing and coveting the possessions of others are all opposed by God. It is therefore not fair to judge simply because an individual’s sin has been made obvious, remember God knows our every thought.
Let us encourage and assist each other to avoid sin in all its forms. Pray for the guidance of the holy spirit to direct our every actions and decisions as we recognize that alone, without God, we may do nothing.