I was fortunate enough to attend a wedding a few days ago. It was the first wedding I attended since childhood. It may be that young people nowadays are very cautious when it comes to marriage, or they simply like to play around. Whatever the case I am in the line waiting for my turn. It is sad however that due to my lack of experience, I am clueless regarding the norms of weddings. I was really grateful for this opportunity. At the last wedding I attended before the one I now mention, I was young enough that if I walked with a flower basket sprinkling flower petals it would be adorable to watch. I thought of this on my friends’ day. I could sprinkle flower petals for the couple to brighten their day with fragrant joy. Thankfully, good council prevailed and such an act was not endorsed.
The men I call friends all share a similar characteristic. We are all macho, macho men, and I don’t mean the ‘Village People’ kind of macho. I have never seen these men cry, even when our cars get stolen (more on that later). Our video games of preference are more in line with ‘God of War’ and not the ‘Sims’. We enjoy sporting activities and working out. I mean really macho men. Or so I thought…
Here’s What Happened
As his bride walked down the aisle he started to breathe faster, while shivering a little. I wondered to myself “how dah bredda yah so shakey?”. This moment turned me off from the thought of marriage. I don’t like to appear weak or vulnerable in any way. Was his shaking due to the realization that he will be losing his freedom and his joy for the rest of his life? Was it due to the realization that he will now have to receive permission to attend our games night sessions? I was worried. But wait, it got worse! During the ceremony, sweat ran down his face. His best man was busy wiping sweat and providing encouragement. This was followed by deep sighs and then attempts to look towards the ceiling to prevent the tears from running down. A most futile attempt. When it was time to exchange vows, his jaw trembled as if he was singing vibrato. Haaaaahhhh was the sound that echoed.
Pastor: “Do you take…”
Bro: “I take……..Haaaaahh”
That day he transitioned from a beast of a man to expressing a more milquetoast persona.
In his defence, Jesus also cried, so a man crying is not something opposing the nature of God. Jesus’s crying, however, was as a result of death. It is perfectly fine for a man to get in touch with his emotions. It may be time now to break down the walls of the patriarchy and open our acceptance to a man’s expression of emotion. To the happily married couple, Psalms 126:5 ‘They that sow in tears shall reap in joy’. I trust there will be a lot of reaping.
At the end of the session, the only thing he could say was, “I just don’t know what happened”. I’ll be sure to dehydrate myself before that day, if and when my time comes.
#manaman #mannuhbawl #manplayball #tr8