I Can No Longer Remain Silent: Mi Affi Bawl Out!

LOAJ affi bawl out, mi caa ignore it mi affi bawl out.

A recent song release called ‘Bawl Out’ by performing artiste ‘Chozenn’ has created some controversy as the song clearly mimics a very profane dancehall song of the same name by ‘Dovey Magnum’. In the event you have never heard the song ‘Bawl Out’, below is a preview (warning, very graphic).

Here are a few lines from the song: “Lawd Gad how yuh feel suh good? Mi love how mi P*$$y jus a grab yuh hood. Mi caa wol it, baby mi caa wol it. Mi caa wol it mi a bawl out…” It is hard to imagine a conversion of this song that would facilitate spiritual ministry. Now, listen to the ‘gospel’ version of ‘Bawl Out’:

Here are a few lines from the song: “Lawd gad how yuh one suh good? Yuh shame the devil mi know yuh good. Mi caa wol it, Jesus mi caa wol it. Yuh name mi a bawl out….”

So, there are a few things to consider. Is this song really gospel? What was the artiste’s intention? Why is this a big deal? Gospel music is a genre of christian music which may not have a specifically defined style as it varies according to culture and social context. It is however either slow and meditative or fast and repetitive with the primary intention being spiritual focus. Now let us imagine dancehall music, which is a genre characterized by a fast rhythm usually of a track instrumental accompanied by sharp rhymes of lyrics usually describing strong sexual themes, violence, dance moves or social issues. Jamaica has seen the establishment of a new genre called ‘Gospel Reggae’ which honestly is not for everyone.

The issue I have with the conversion of graphic dancehall music to gospel is that the objective of ministry is not achieved. Note that Love 101, a popular gospel radio station, has banned the song ‘Bawl Out’ from playing on their frequencies. The attachment of these songs to their origin makes them very ineffective in ministry. Imagine playing ‘Bawl Out’ in church, can that song aid in worship? How ironic would it be for the wrong words to slip out due to the similarities with the original song. If the dancehall genre was initially established with strong positive and or religious themes such controversies would not exist.
Here are my OPINIONS regarding the new version of ‘Bawl Out’

  • Chozenn’s conversion of the song does not draw people to God.
  • The artist’s intention was more so selfish than ministerial. It worked! We all know Chozenn now, a brother has got to eat right?
  • The song is NOT gospel. It is simply a parody.
  • Not everyone has good vocals, if the dancehall genre is the only one he can perform, he should at least be original.
  • I had never listened to the dirty ‘Bawl Out’ before this saga unfolded, thanks Chozenn.
  • In order to make such a great replica of the original, Chozenn would have chosen to have a real good ‘review’ of the original.

– Aldeam Facey 2018

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The life and Death of Gully Bop’s Tooth: A Chew Story!

Gully Bop is the name of a Dancehall artiste who has had a sudden rise to fame after an amateur video of him performing went viral. Within a few months he transitioned from being homeless to performing at arguably Jamaica’s biggest stage show, Sting! Physically speaking, Gully Bop is not the most well groomed man you had ever seen and possibly not the most handsome you had ever met either (I’m trying to be nice here). However, these are the features which clearly distinguishes him from the scores of other artistes fighting to excel. His most unique features are his teeth – or the lack thereof. I could just imaging what his teeth had experienced over the years.

Gully Bop
Gully Bop

From a tooth’s point of view:

“Hi, I am Fronty – Gully Bop’s front tooth – and I was the last 1 standing. I remember years ago when I was born, there were 32 of us but life was so hard. Sighs. I remembered when we all had to sell our enamels just to buy a little calcium, shed our plaque just so our master could eat. Our master refused to take care of us, but we understood, as fortune was not on his side. Sometimes we were fortunate enough to get a little food from the dump and we would have fun masticating it. I would slice a piece of expired bun and throw it over to Sidey and finally Sidey would pass it on to Backy. Sighs, oh Backy, I miss that fat dude. Even though he smelt so moldy that we often called him Molar lol (tears). He was the first to leave us. Backy had very rocky days before he fell. The most saddening thing is that when we fall, no tooth fairies come for us, no wand wielding, tooth carrying, gravity defying beings come for us. There is no one willing to leave a dollar under master’s stone when we die, in memory of us.

Sidey stood by me through thick and ‘tin’, for we had to learn to bite through tin cans as well. There are nights we would beg to be brushed, but neither the willingness, the resources or the interest was there. In cold nights we would cover ourselves in plaque just to keep ourselves warm. But whenever you find a plaque to keep you warm at nights, he will use you and cause you to decay. Most nights after being used I felt like a cheap tooth! Master water down and dilute sidey, master hide the colgate from the youte, but the youte dem hold dem root!

One day there was a mighty earthquake. I could hear Sidey shaking, he was going down. I held him close to me

Me: Sidey, hold on!

Sidey: I can’t, the gum is not too strong!

Me: Hold on to me with that sticky stuff that surrounds you, it will support the gum, at least for 30 seconds twice per day!

Sidey: *Sobs*

Me: Don’t wimp out now, you can do it, just 30 seconds of holding me twice per day, sure its a little intense but… Sidey…. Sidey!!! NOOOOO!!!

…..

I was the only one left. I was so lonely, but at least now I had good food and colgate. To add to the satisfaction I often feel a tongue or two rubbing against me so I know someone cares. If only I had my brothers back, life is not happy without them. Even some synthetic, replacement brothers would do, but master doesn’t seem interested in making me happy, such a hype and selfish man he had become. Just to make life worth living, I would sing to entertain myself:

Dem oda teet nuh have root like me.

Dem oda teet nuh nyam food like me.

Dem oda teet nuh bite ‘chin’ like me.

….. I miss dem oda teet.

I got tired of living, so while being cleaned, I wrapped myself in the dental floss and I would not let go! I relaxed my root  and away I flew, never to chew again.

I write this to you from fairyland. I was the only one rich enough to make it here.”

– Aldeam Facey 2015