Love makes us do stupid things. Love limits, restricts and causes more pain than can be inflicted physically. Quite possibly the well known statement that love lacks the ability to perceive visually is true. It is also said that to be fool twice places a huge bout of embarrassment upon you. So it is with experience in the field of the fools that I express myself. Do NOT fall in love.
I remember one eve I was traveling home in a tightly packed coaster bus. I couldn’t feel my legs but I knew they were there. I was sleepy, fortunately my girlfriend at the time was sitting beside me I leaned my head on her shoulder, she had massive muscular shoulders. I fell asleep for a quick minute embracing her, only to be awaken by a violent earthquake. The earthquake was proceeded by sincere apologies. It was not my girlfriend at all, but rather a strange man. Thankfully he was nice enough not to punch me in the face.
I thought about my girlfriend all the time I could feel her beside me when she was not there. I was face deep in love with her. I could not number the sacrifices I made for her. I just wanted it to work. Long story extremely short, I accidentally found pictures of her on her flash drive when she asked me to print something for her. They were not pictures of landscapes or paintings, not pictures of the ocean or birds, they were images of happiness, heterosexual reproduction and infidelity.
I blamed myself for her mistakes. Shame on me. But I learned a valuable lesson so I wholeheartedly thank my ex for making me the man I am today. No emotions, all logic.
Years later I dated another lady, when the inevitable end came, I hardly felt a thing. It had assessed the relationship and though I wanted it to work, I knew the likelihood was low. My approach to that relationship was more logical than emotional. I highly recommend that approach.
Here is what you should do
Yes, similarities between parties form the basis of relationships. The same is true for societies, political parties etc. If you join a badminton club, most likely everyone in the club enjoys badminton. You would be able to enjoy long conversations, games and events all relating to badminton. Badminton then becomes a relationship glue. In relationships, the more ‘glue’ you have the greater the chance the relationship will last. That way you enjoy the same things and you enjoy doing things together. Sex can be a powerful glue but eventually it cums to an end so one must find other engaging activities to keep the relationship going. One should pursue a partner with whom they share several interests and where the differences are few and tolerable. With time you will GROW to love each other. It is always possible for any relationship to fail but what goes up too fast will lack the foundation to stand and is most likely to fall.
Don’t fall in love, grow in love. Let’s just take it slow.
– Aldeam Facey 2015