Conflict Of Interest #7: Impregnating Two Women At Once – Part 1

This is a true story!

So we all know cheating is a big deal business in Jamaica. You are not a real Jamaican man until you have three ‘baby mommas’ you don’t care about.

 

So Matthew, 27, met a beautiful young lady, Samantha, 22, and wooed her panties to the floor. But other than falling in bed they fell in love and formed a ‘serious’ relationship. No one expected Matthew to joke around. But there is something powerful about vajay-jays that makes Jamaican men giddy headed. Matthew met another young lady, Sasha, mother of two children, and immediately fell into her. Of course, it was an accident. This accident happened over and over on the streets of an apparently busy highway, until the evidence of the mistake could no longer hide itself. She got pregnant. Naturally, the Jamaican thing for Matthew to do is to keep it a secret from Samantha for as many decades as possible, stressing about a possible revelation until he dies of a stroke. Okay so no big deal right? Wrong! Sasha is also in a committed relationship with the ‘father’ of her babies, a man who already questions the paternity of the children ‘given’ to him, who clearly lack the phenotypical characteristics that defines a father-child connection.

Sasha, naturally is afraid to tell her partner her big secret as he uses the machete very well and his mental stability has not been confirmed. So she presented the news to him in a brilliant fashion, ‘Babes, we havin a baby! I’m pregnant, for you’. Problem solved. We will get back to this later.

Matthew continued his relationship with Samantha and four months after Sasha got pregnant, Samantha had some good news for Matthew as well. Yes, you guessed it, Samantha found out she’s pregnant!…For ‘Matthew’.

At this point I’m sure Matthew shouted the very same profane words he did while he accidentally fell into those holes without head gear.

He eventually built the courage to tell his sisters that he got two women pregnant and without a doubt it was met with much surprise. No one else knew. Sasha’s baby, Kimberly, became Matthew’s first born and is loved by Matthew’s supportive sisters. It was a sibling secret and they kept their mother in the dark regarding the birth of Kimberly.

Months passed and Kimberly grew to become the clone of Matthew. So much so that Sasha’s physically abusive spouse is now asking for a DNA test. It is important to note that Sasha is a very close friend of the family, who often stays at the family house. Mathew had to break the secret to his mother, who resides overseas. But of course, he had to deliver the message in bite sizes. He told his mother Samantha is pregnant and was about to have his baby. Matthew’s mother was happy to hear such good news so he paused there for a bit.

This is where it gets interesting…

So Matthew’s mom decided to make a trip to Jamaica to meet her ‘first’ grand child, for whom she brought many gifts. She decided to have the entire family meet up at the family house. Samantha had just given birth to Shannele and they made the trip as well. It would have been a grand and happy time for stressed out Matthew except Sasha and Kimberly were staying at the house at the time.

Sasha and the siblings knew the whole story but the siblings eventually had to let their mother know. Much to her disappointment as she had given her heart and cash to Shanelle. It is important to note that during the visit Sasha felt so left out and unwanted, that she left. But to this day, Samantha is unaware that her child is not Matthews first.

Should he tell her knowing it would mean the end of their relationship?

Should Sasha tell her spouse?

In my view, to be honest, the truth sometimes really really hurts. Lets hope this is resolved soon, without injuries.

I can’t say I am excited to see how this story ends but it does encourage me to keep it in my pants until it rots.

I am an independent observer/advisor of the events. All names have been changed for privacy.

 

– Aldeam Facey (The Real Jamaican Man) 2016

 

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Can A Man And A Woman Be Friends, Just Friends?

Many times I have heard the question; ‘Can a man and a woman be friends?’ I have always defended firmly that it is possible based on my associations with women. However, over the years, my thoughts have evolved. Here is why:

During my undergrad years at the University of the West Indies, I contently interacted with many young ladies, enjoying the incredible 7:3 female to male ratio with no complaints at all. I became very good friends with one particular female. We spent a lot of time together studying, chilling at each others place of residence and had constant telephone conversations. We were NOT together. For years we enjoyed a clean friendship though she was an attractive girl and I was, well, you know, me. We comforted each other as we entered and ended relationships but never did we venture outside the ‘friend-zone’. We were just about ready to graduate from University and we were both single for at least a year. I was by her place just giving her a quick visit as was the norm but when I was leaving I gave her a hug. This was however no ordinary hug, it lasted much longer than the standard 1 to 2 seconds. I felt something, it was so intense that a hug led to a passionate kiss. I left thinking how much sense it made to have a relationship with this girl.

There was a second encounter. She came to visit me after I had started my graduate program and we had a chat. Before you knew it we were involved in some intense petting petting (2). To date we haven’t said a word about it, I am just thankful it didn’t go too far. We are simply trying to maintain a friendship and nothing more because the friendship is something we both treasure.

It happened again…

I met another girl at church and we simply mixed like 2 organic solvents. We had deep conversations and she quickly became my go to person if I needed a good debate. It may be important to mention that the mirror on the wall confirmed that she is one of the fairest of them all. We both started and ended relationships during the course of our long friendship and we could always talk to each other about anything. But again, she was just a friend. One night she visited me and as usual we talked but the devil finds use for idle hands and I don’t know how it happened, but again I found myself scratching the kitty petting (2). It went no further and to date nothing was mentioned in relation to the itch.

It really would be logical to date one of these women given that they possess the very features I prefer. But I like our friendship too much to jeopardize it with a relationship. I just know deep down, we have a strange friendship. But this had me thinking, and I realized that many women I considered to be friends, didn’t want just a friendship and this solidified my evolving thought.

So to answer the very old question I will make it very specific:

Can a single, attractive, heterosexual Jamaican man and a single, attractive heterosexual Jamaican woman be friends and just friends?

Answer: No

If you are a woman and you are friends with a man, you are either not single, not attractive or not heterosexual.

What are your views? Comment below.

– Aldeam Facey 2016

How To Tame A Stallion

When I speak of a stallion, I refer not to the wild uncastrated male horse. I speak not of the beasts which roam the land, eating the flora, making huge strides and embracing the freedom. I speak of the men who cannot be captured and tied by the strings of any Fallopian tube. The men who have mastered the art of seduction. The men whose names are echoed in soft slow tones on the walls of random rooms. I speak of, the cheaters.

stallion

So ladies, your male partner has been cheating on you. You question his reason. You visit Aldeam’s blog to find out why men cheat. You simply can’t understand, you did everything right. You love him and refuse to let him go but you simply want him to accept only you and reject the very thought of infidelity. Well, if you want to keep him at home here are some things you should NOT do:

Get pregnant – Shotgun marriages don’t work when every man has a gun. Having a child may be a greater push factor than a pull factor for a man. Do not get pregnant if your only intention is to keep your partner.

Confront his partners – Tempting, yes I know but that will not prevent them from sneaking around. I have realized that women will approach men in relationships without any consideration of his partner!

Cheat as well – It is said that sitting on two wongs don’t make it right and it is true. He may feel what you feel but following that path is guaranteed to end your relationship and leave you feeling cheap.

Stalk him –  You may think it is a good idea to follow him around, search his Internet activities, his phone and question his friends. You are better than that, if there is no trust in the relationship, find a new one before your vagina gets old. Stalking is wasting your time and the result is never good.

Here is what you should do.

Play with his ego –  Men are very egotistical and can be manipulated by women so easily. Let him know how smart, how big and how strong he is, he will enjoy hearing from you.

Play ignorant – Don’t let him know immediately that you know he is cheating. Subtly let him know how faithful you are and your expectations of him considering your faithfulness. Nudge his conscience.

Research new stuff for the bedroom – Blow his mind in bed, if you already are engaged sexually. Be incomparable and unmatched, a pull factor won’t hurt.

Hold out –  If you haven’t started the demolition of the house with a wrecking ball then hold out until you are CONFIDENT about his faithfulness, considering you may never be sure. Get to know him and his history. Was he a run around in the past? Have him wait until he makes a bold commitment.

Counselling –  Get some professional assistance, together.

Finally

Talk to him – After you find out he is a creeper, let him know how you feel and have him give you his assurance that it will not recur. It is important that you hold out from this point onwards, primarily for your safety.

I have a zero tolerance to infidelity so the relationship would have ended the moment I find out my fish is in another pool but try these methods if you really want your relationship to work. If these methods yield no results, find a quick way out or accept the fact that you are not exclusive.

A true stallion cannot be tamed.

 

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Here Is Why You Should Never Fall In Love

Love makes us do stupid things. Love limits, restricts and causes more pain than can be inflicted physically. Quite possibly the well known statement that love lacks the ability to perceive visually is true. It is also said that to be fool twice places a huge bout of embarrassment upon you. So it is with experience in the field of the fools that I express myself. Do NOT fall in love.

heart_break

I remember one eve I was traveling home in a tightly packed coaster bus. I couldn’t feel my legs but I knew they were there. I was sleepy, fortunately my girlfriend at the time was sitting beside me I leaned my head on her shoulder, she had massive muscular shoulders. I fell asleep for a quick minute embracing her, only to be awaken by a violent earthquake. The earthquake was proceeded by sincere apologies. It was not my girlfriend at all, but rather a strange man. Thankfully he was nice enough not to punch me in the face.
I thought about my girlfriend all the time I could feel her beside me when she was not there. I was face deep in love with her. I could not number the sacrifices I made for her. I just wanted it to work. Long story extremely short, I accidentally found pictures of her on her flash drive when she asked me to print something for her. They were not pictures of landscapes or paintings, not pictures of the ocean or birds, they were images of happiness, heterosexual reproduction and infidelity.
I blamed myself for her mistakes. Shame on me. But I learned a valuable lesson so I wholeheartedly thank my ex for making me the man I am today. No emotions, all logic.
Years later I dated another lady, when the inevitable end came, I hardly felt a thing. It had assessed the relationship and though I wanted it to work, I knew the likelihood was low. My approach to that relationship was more logical than emotional. I highly recommend that approach.

Here is what you should do

Yes, similarities between parties form the basis of relationships. The same is true for societies, political parties etc. If you join a badminton club, most likely everyone in the club enjoys badminton. You would be able to enjoy long conversations, games and events all relating to badminton. Badminton then becomes a relationship glue. In relationships, the more ‘glue’ you have the greater the chance the relationship will last. That way you enjoy the same things and you enjoy doing things together. Sex can be a powerful glue but eventually it cums to an end so one must find other engaging activities to keep the relationship going. One should pursue a partner with whom they share several interests and where the differences are few and tolerable. With time you will GROW to love each other. It is always possible for any relationship to fail but what goes up too fast will lack the foundation to stand and is most likely to fall.

Don’t fall in love, grow in love. Let’s just take it slow.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Why Do Jamaican Men Love Trinidadian Women?

During a discussion with a friend of mine, we both noted that many of the Jamaican men are hunting the Trinidadian meat. It led to the question; why do we find the Trinidadian women so appealing? Is it the accent? Is it the culture? Is it …. the ‘wine’?

I never had much association with our Caribbean neighbors until I was enrolled at the University of the West Indies, Mona (UWI). UWI, your place to shine, the premier institution for tertiary education in the Caribbean, the school of the culturally integrated. I had the opportunity to engage with and learn of the various cultures in the Caribbean which are all very interesting. But one of the most striking things for me was the relaxing, erotic accent of our Trinidadian neighbors. Thats one thing I wouldn’t mind listening to all day.

I spent a year boarding at the AZ Preston hall, the hall of halls, the hall of the specially selected few, the place where everyone wants to live, but not everyone gets to, the hall possessing the most visually appealing landscapes. While living at AZ Preston hall I engaged in several hall activities and enjoyed the various competitions the hall had to offer. I can recall so very clearly, while yet a ‘press man’ not yet worthy of the “Prestonite” title, there was a competition, a ‘wineing’ competition. Yes, there was a Trinidadian girl involved. So all of the Jamaican girls did their thing and I thought they were pretty good, until the Trini hit the stage. She did unspeakable things with her waist! My mind was blown at the girl with the super rotating waist! She was so flexible, acrobatic and energetic, all eyes were glued on her. She did it with such ease and I never looked at her the same way again.  We eventually became very good friends.

For some reason whenever I see a Jamaican man with a Trinidadian woman, It is almost always a long term relationship! They last! I refuse to believe its just the accent or the ‘wine’, there is something here and I just can’t put my finger on it. Are Trinidadian women more faithful? Are they more willing? The Trinidadian culture is very different, there are certain things that most Jamaican ladies frown upon, that the Trini ladies enjoy doing (the art of deduction becomes quite necessary here). It appears that its the exciting nature of the Trinidadian women that we find appealing, a combination of several variables instead of one particular thing. Once a Trini lady has a grip on you, you’re tied.

I spoke with another friend of mine who was in a long term relationship with a Trinidadian lady. He says it’s not because she is a Trinidadian but men just like something new, something different. Variety is the spice of life and the combination of two different cultures always produce something exciting.

Is this a wake up call for our Jamaican ladies? Should they be worried? Should they be doing more to excite us?

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Conflict Of Interest #4: Dating A Friend’s Ex!

There is an unwritten “Bro code” that must never be violated. A law we all know but never discuss. Your friend’s girlfriend is off-limits, permanently. I have never been attracted to any of my male friends’ girlfriend. Not that they aren’t attractive women, but when they become involved with my friend, they become my sisters. Under no circumstances do I support dating a friend’s ex, it is wrong in so many ways. But if all parties are okay with it, I guess the awkward union may survive.

I remember I met this fine young lady, she was just right. We engaged in long conversations and made plans to go out. Just before we had the opportunity, she asked me if I know a certain man. I gladly said yes, “a mi gud fren”. She expressed how much she hated this man and upon inquiry I found out they dated. She immediately grew a penis, beard, mustache and a deep voice. I never called her again, not another word was exchanged.

Jealousy - Life of a jamaican

So I recently found out that my good friend is dating our friend’s ex, without his knowledge or his consent. Now I’m not the kind of guy who gives a blind eye to the dirty elephant in the room, I won’t cover my nose as the elephant releases it’s huge bouts of flatulence. I am the one who stabs the elephant in the throat, get rid of it and clear the air.

At first I saw the suspects having a good time together. I assumed he was offering support in her time of trouble, but mother Mary come to me, he wasn’t offering any words of wisdom, so I couldn’t just let it be. I asked what was going on, but many corners were taken and no destination reached. I was shortly after unfortunate enough to be a part of a conversation involving the young lady and her former partner, both friends of mine. All questions and answers were directed at me, even when they were answering each other. It felt like I was having two individual conversations. The tension between them was so high, I was shocked!

I then asked the ‘new boyfriend’ how he felt about the issue and he did admit it felt a bit awkward. They are all good people though, and I wish them all the best, but this union, my friends, will take some time to settle in my mind.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Interdenominational Relationships: Can They Work?

When I was young, I had many interactions with young ladies of differing denominations, though extremely shy. But that was then, back in the days when I was a little handsome, when my charm preceded my corny wit, when I had many reasons to smile, when all was well with the world.

Then, I was very strong, I did not take advantage of the many opportunities that presented themselves, I was a fairly good ‘youte’. I was getting old and I thought it was time to find a close association with a female, just one female, the way it is supposed to be. I approached who would become my very first girlfriend. I was Seventh Day Adventist, she was a Sunday worshiper. We had many discussions about religion, the day we should set aside for holy time, what not eat and many more. Though we disagreed on many topics we had a good relationship, one that did not violate any commands. I am not sure why we parted but we did. We are friends now.

It is very interesting to note that my ex stopped eating pork
It is very interesting to note that my ex stopped eating pork

The primary difference between the Seventh day Adventist group and the other denominations is that we believe in the Sabbath day. When God made the world he rested on the 7th day which is Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. He blessed the day and set it aside for rest and worship. This commandment includes the household as even your servants are required to rest. Read Exodus 20: 8-11.

My next relationship started years later with a young lady affiliated with the Apostolic group and Jah know star, ashalama shalama shalama! We had a very interesting relationship. Firstly I must say that she was hands down the sexiest woman I had ever seen! Neglecting the fact that she had more curves that the Bog Walk Gorge, while with her my eyes never strayed. I was completely satisfied with her and her happiness was my primary concern. Our entire relationship was one single conversation, that never ended. quite possibly, we were too attached to each other, but I didn’t mind. I’m not an emotional guy, a macho beast is expressed in my phenotype and genotype, but I can honestly say I was deeply in love with this one. I believed we would eventually get married as we had no significant problems. We discussed differences in religion and I must say she was coming around to the truth but wanted to avoid what she called ‘apostasy’. The most significant issue was whether to raise our children as Adventist or wrong otherwise. I was so serious about that relationship that I had a discussion with my pastor regarding my intention to marry this lady one day. That’s when I found out Seventh day Adventist pastors cannot marry interdenominational couples.
Long story extremely short, we parted for a reason that had nothing to do with religious beliefs.

I thereafter I found that most of the women I date are not Adventist and in all cases, though very brief the interactions, we never had a significant problem with beliefs. I’ve only dated a few Adventists, awesome ladies, but again they never worked.

There is the question of whether or not you and an interdenominational partner are “equally yoked”. Obviously, where beliefs are concerned you would not be, but the same may be true for a partner who is of the same denominational group! If your partner is not pulling you away from your faith in any way, there shouldn’t be much of an issue. Remember, the possibility exist that your wife or husband of the same denomination can change their beliefs post marriage. Is that enough reason for an annulment?  One must consider that differences in beliefs vary even to the individual level.

Conclusion

Though variety is the spice of life, the basis of any relationship is common ground. As such it is better to be with someone with whom you share similar beliefs. My advice would be for you to aim for a relationship with an individual who shares your beliefs. However, happiness is a critical relationship trait that must be satisfied. What if no one with whom you share the same belief makes you happy? What if no one is interested or available? If happiness can only be found elsewhere and you are able to live with differences in beliefs, then by all means, pursue happiness.
An interdenominational relationship can work, but it requires more work.

– Aldeam Facey 2015