Tag Archives: People

The Best Parish To Visit In Jamaica

There is no simple answer to the question; “Which parish is the best one to visit in Jamaica?” if you want to run away from your wife and have a secret affair for the weekend, there is a place for that. If you want to run away from your husband with your girls and feel like 21 again, there is a place for that. I won’t expand on that though because that is not the kind of lifestyle LOAJ supports. #workitout. The best parish in Jamaica all depends on your purpose. But after completing my island tour and visiting almost every free and paid beaches and attractions I think I can provide insights as to which parish is best for you.

The best parish for business

Kingston. Runner up St. James, Montego Bay.

Well duh! These are the only 2 official cities in Jamaica naturally these would be the ideal places to conduct business. With the specially designated business districts in Kingston and St. James these cities continue to grow in population and infrastructure. If your sole purpose is business you will find no better place.

Mandeville, Manchester and Portmore, St. Catherine are honorary mentions as their growth rate is significant!

Best parish for beaches

Westmoreland . Runner up St. James.

The 8 mile long white sand beaches along the coast of Negril Westmoreland is as good as it gets! Clean waters, accessible food stores and tons of entertainment. This parish is a very good place to take your side piece but an even better place to take a whole meal. St. James features some nice beaches as well and is definitely worthy of a mention.

Most peaceful parish

Year after year we note that Portland has the lowest number of homicides. If the entire island had such low numbers, police officers could work from home. It’s so pieceful that if I went there to live I’d probably be an area leader #Donfacey. While Portland is nowhere near being the best parish for business and is not a wealthy parish, it is remarkable how the murder rate is kept so low. Research is needed to determine all the factors influencing this low rate.

Hidden treasure award

Portland has some of the most incredible places of attraction! Whether it is Frenchmans cove or the Blue lagoon the list is endless. But thile the west coast is popular for tourists, it is time to look more to the eastern side as Portland has a lot to offer! Runner up, St. Thomas

Best Parish to buy weed

Ok, I have a confession. Maybe this one was posted to mess with the SEO but since you are already here. Let me give it to you. According to reggae singer Chronixx “Westmorelan have e baddest one”. Some truth here. If you want to get the highest grade in class. Westmoreland has the best teachers.

Best place to buy East Indian Mangoes

Yes I had to create this category. St Thomas. About a month ago I took my mother to St Thomas JUST so we could buy East Indian mangoes! This is the best place to buy them as they are much more reasonably priced there, and the mangoes being sold in kingston and St. Catherine are often times purchased from other vendors in St. Thomas. I don’t think I need to re-emphasize how good east Indian mangoes are! Ok.. here!

Feel good parish. St Elizabeth runner up st Portland

This is highly subjective but every time I drive through St. Elizabeth or Portland and I see the peaceful farming communities and the camera ready views I simply melt. On my island tour my first night was spent in St. Elizabeth. I literally did not want to leave! My island tour journey has been captured on my YouTube channel ‘Life of a Jamaican”.

Most balanced parish St. Catherine

St. Catherine the parish for everybody it’s good for business, there are areas of attraction for locals, a few mediocre beaches, farming communities and an excellent balance between urban and rural living. Whenever I say I’m from ‘country’ people would ask ‘what parish?’ then say ‘that’s not country’ when I tell them St. Catherine. Being one of the largest parishes in Jamaica allows for that kind of diversity. Most people in St. Catherine don’t know places like Giblatore or Top hill, but they all know Spanish Town (former capital of Jamaica) and Portmore (next city?).

Affordable get-away for locals.

Hanover. No one says let’s go to Hanover for a trip. But being right between the best parishes for beaches it is expected that you will have some attractions there. The 8 mile beach stretches into Hanover and the other few beaches on the coast are completely free. While some expensive resorts are here, among the western end of the island you can find very cheap get-away areas.

Best Parish for Tourists

St. Ann. Home to the tourist hub, Ocho Rios St. Ann is so packed with rivers, falls, beaches, craft markets, hotels and other attractions that it’s the only place a tourist needs to visit in Jamaica to have a mighty good time. It’s also a great spot for locals and the variety here keeps visits fresh at all times. This is my go-to parish for road trips.

Best parish for producing Athletes.

Trelawny. What if I told you Usain Bolt, Veronica Campbell-Brown, Michael Frater and even Ben Johnson were born in Trelawny? Is it the yam? Whatever the reason, this parish produces the world’s best sprinters.

Best parish to learn the American accent.

St. James. Runner up Westmoreland. For some strange reason many persons in this region love to bring good news in an American accent. Always informing persons of the millions they have won. Apparently with much success. It may be due to the significant interactions with tourists that makes them so eloquent in American English without ever visiting the country.

Best parish to plant bananas

St. Mary. Done know mi affi give the fire man parish a shout. The name of the parish is also the name of a popular brand of the Jamaican snack, banana chips. So much banana is produced here and they obviously thrive!

Parish with the worst road

Clarendon. Bad road is a thing in Jamaica. Every parish has it. But I made the mistake of driving on the alligator pond main road during my island tour and I will never make that error again. The road was so bad that at most areas I had to decide whether to scratch the side of my car on the thorns to one side of the road or drive through pot holes half the size of the car.

Note that these are simply my opinions based on my experiences. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Bless.

Conflict Of Interest #7: Impregnating Two Women At Once – Part 1

This is a true story!

So we all know cheating is a big deal business in Jamaica. You are not a real Jamaican man until you have three ‘baby mommas’ you don’t care about.


So Matthew, 27, met a beautiful young lady, Samantha, 22, and wooed her panties to the floor. But other than falling in bed they fell in love and formed a ‘serious’ relationship. No one expected Matthew to joke around. But there is something powerful about vajay-jays that makes Jamaican men giddy headed. Matthew met another young lady, Sasha, mother of two children, and immediately fell into her. Of course, it was an accident. This accident happened over and over on the streets of an apparently busy highway, until the evidence of the mistake could no longer hide itself. She got pregnant. Naturally, the Jamaican thing for Matthew to do is to keep it a secret from Samantha for as many decades as possible, stressing about a possible revelation until he dies of a stroke. Okay so no big deal right? Wrong! Sasha is also in a committed relationship with the ‘father’ of her babies, a man who already questions the paternity of the children ‘given’ to him, who clearly lack the phenotypical characteristics that defines a father-child connection.

Sasha, naturally is afraid to tell her partner her big secret as he uses the machete very well and his mental stability has not been confirmed. So she presented the news to him in a brilliant fashion, ‘Babes, we havin a baby! I’m pregnant, for you’. Problem solved. We will get back to this later.

Matthew continued his relationship with Samantha and four months after Sasha got pregnant, Samantha had some good news for Matthew as well. Yes, you guessed it, Samantha found out she’s pregnant!…For ‘Matthew’.

At this point I’m sure Matthew shouted the very same profane words he did while he accidentally fell into those holes without head gear.

He eventually built the courage to tell his sisters that he got two women pregnant and without a doubt it was met with much surprise. No one else knew. Sasha’s baby, Kimberly, became Matthew’s first born and is loved by Matthew’s supportive sisters. It was a sibling secret and they kept their mother in the dark regarding the birth of Kimberly.

Months passed and Kimberly grew to become the clone of Matthew. So much so that Sasha’s physically abusive spouse is now asking for a DNA test. It is important to note that Sasha is a very close friend of the family, who often stays at the family house. Mathew had to break the secret to his mother, who resides overseas. But of course, he had to deliver the message in bite sizes. He told his mother Samantha is pregnant and was about to have his baby. Matthew’s mother was happy to hear such good news so he paused there for a bit.

This is where it gets interesting…

So Matthew’s mom decided to make a trip to Jamaica to meet her ‘first’ grand child, for whom she brought many gifts. She decided to have the entire family meet up at the family house. Samantha had just given birth to Shannele and they made the trip as well. It would have been a grand and happy time for stressed out Matthew except Sasha and Kimberly were staying at the house at the time.

Sasha and the siblings knew the whole story but the siblings eventually had to let their mother know. Much to her disappointment as she had given her heart and cash to Shanelle. It is important to note that during the visit Sasha felt so left out and unwanted, that she left. But to this day, Samantha is unaware that her child is not Matthews first.

Should he tell her knowing it would mean the end of their relationship?

Should Sasha tell her spouse?

In my view, to be honest, the truth sometimes really really hurts. Lets hope this is resolved soon, without injuries.

I can’t say I am excited to see how this story ends but it does encourage me to keep it in my pants until it rots.

I am an independent observer/advisor of the events. All names have been changed for privacy.


– Aldeam Facey (The Real Jamaican Man) 2016


Rebecca Black, Is So White!

So its Friday! The day ‘nine to fivers’ look forward to weekly. My contentment led me to the popular video site Youtube.com, in search of a song that reflects my mood. I searched for ‘Friday’ and I found a song that was released in 2011 by a wonderful little white girl called Rebecca Black. The song surely brought a smile to my face as I listened to the pure, innocent lyrics.

The song is so amazing and I don’t know why millions of persons hate it so much. One should be awarded for such brilliant creativity. To top it off Rebecca’s vocals are on point with Beyoncé Knowles, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion and those big shot singers. So intrigued was I, that I had to press the like button on the video. Youtube.com did a very strange thing that I had never seen before. It asked ‘Are you sure you want to like this video?” and I clicked yes then subscribed for more. To demonstrate why I love this song so much, just look at the some of the lyrics:

[Verse 1: Rebecca Black]
7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)
Kicking it in the front seat
Sitting in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

These are everyday problems we face in developing countries like Jamaica. We can all relate, that’s why the song is such a big hit here. 

Even with our luxurious taxis, when one arrives at the taxi stand, everyone just stops and looks at it because no one knows whether to kick it in the front seat or kick it in the back. Sigh, life is so hard.

[Hook: Rebecca Black]
It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Sentiments with which we can all agree. 

[Bridge: Rebecca Black]
Yesterday was Thursday
Today is Friday
We so excited! We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards
I don’t want this weekend to end!

Like a bridge over troubled waters! Dah bridge yah bad! ‘Yesterday was Thursday Today is Friday’ Sounds like something Grace Jackson would say! Probably that’s why I like this Black girl so much enuh. Then she goes on to remind us that ‘Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards‘. Such deep and powerful words! This girl deserves a Grammy ASAP! 

Yow unu pree di song!

If the song was any Whiter, it would be transparent. That is how pure and real Friday appears.

It doesn’t ever get much Whiter than this. I can’t wait for Saturday to be released. Rebecca, keep doing what you doing! You Rock!


– Aldeam Facey 2016


Jamaican Windscreen Washers

Much like the Loada Man, a Jamaican windscreen washer is a self employed entrepreneur who provides a quite redundant service. I have always been annoyed by these aggressive guys who force you to accept their service whether or not you need it. But it was not until I had some personal experiences with them that I realized how forceful they can be towards drivers.


So a few months ago not long after having my car washed,  I saw a windscreen washer at a stoplight at the intersection of Hope Road and Trafalgar Road. With stained, heavily perforated, over-sized garments he walked towards my car. In his left hand he had a transparent soda bottle and in it there was a clear fluid, which I assume was water and what appeared to be leaves of a tree. No, not diluted soap; leaves! His sanity was questionable. As he stepped closer to the vehicle I knew he was coming for me. Thoughts ran through my head; What should I do? Should I scream and run? Cornered by other vehicles left me without an option. I frantically waved my hand at him, begging him not to ‘clean’ my spotless windshield. My requests were not observed as he looked at me through the windscreen and nodded ‘yes’. I waved again and shouted ‘NO!’. He looked at me again and nodded ‘yes’, with a creepy look that clearly says ‘just let it happen’. I let it happen. The light, much like our political system, just wouldn’t change to green fast enough. At the end of his session I gave him $15 and I just sat there in traffic, feeling dirty and used. He did a poor job, leaving the windscreen much worse than it was before.

Now, I’ve learned a lot regarding dealing with these windscreen washers, who may greet you with profanities or make requests for you to consume various parts of your mother.

How To Say No

  • Apparently, much like a young lady in a short skirt is begging to be raped, driving around with a dirty windscreen is an invitation to these windscreen cleaners. Always have a clean windscreen.
  • Turn on wipers as they approach.
  • Wind down windows and aggressively say no.
  • Let them know you have no money.


Now, while I am not a big fan of these guys, they are trying to make a living. I prefer them doing this than robbing people. So if you need your windscreen cleaned, feel free to let them do it for you. They will accept as little cash as you have. My primary issue is their attitude towards drivers, otherwise, they are tolerable. 

– Aldeam Facey 2016

Why We Believe What We Believe

Over the years I have noticed that humans tend to accept beliefs which justify their lifestyles. This is contrasting to adjusting ones lifestyle to conform to written laws or truths, the basis of Christianity. It is surprising however, that many Christian denominations also choose to believe based on lifestyle instead of the contrary. All this is based on the fact that we all want to be accepted, firstly by ourselves, we want to be comfortable, minimize the guilt of our consciences, which is totally dependent on one’s belief.


Look at it from a more practical point of view, homosexuals tend to be atheist, there is no such thing as a Christian gay. Pentecostal, Baptist and so on tend to ignore Leviticus 11, Seventh day Adventist are skewed towards accepting a more republican society.

Can ones belief be changed? Why do we initially believe what we believe?

Our young minds are easily influenced by those within close proximity, especially those who are older. As children we mindlessly accept the beliefs of our parents or guardians, these beliefs seldom change as we grow older. When they do change, it is the influence of experience and or research which is the cause of this change. If I was born a Jew, it is likely I’d be a Jew right now. Likewise if I was born in another church, or born in a family of atheists it is more likely that I would be apart of whatever group I was initially associated with.

But what is the truth?

I went on a quest to find the truth for myself. I was born being told that the Bible is true, that we must obey they laws, that we were made by God. Do I simply swallow the bread placed in my mouth? Or do I make attempt to verify? Not everything is known and research will continue until God comes. After studying the history of the Bible and how the books were compiled I concluded that it was as close to truth as any book we humans have available. So if this book is true, and in it lies instructions, it is my duty to obey. It is your duty as an intelligent human being to find the truth for yourself instead of mindlessly living without purpose. Based on my personal assessments the Seventh Day Adventist message is not flawed as it is based on the Bible, every part of it. Not one section is ignored even if it’s restrictions are not desired.

-Aldeam Facey 2015

“A Proper Backsiding” – Child Abuse Or a Cure For Disobedience?

A “backsiding” is a term often used, especially in rural Jamaica, to describe a spanking. This spanking is usually very thorough and is of an intensity proportional to the offense.
We Jamaicans are very angry people and a simple backsiding, where it involves the aluminum pot covers, barbed wires, chains, frying pans or ‘anyting di han can find’, may easily be classified as attempted murder.

“… Yes”
“Gwaan fi di belt an come”
“…. ”
” Mi seh gwaan fi di belt!”

A ‘sticky’ situation, a dilemma characterized by its complexity. Do I obey and accept my guaranteed, immediate reward or do I disobey and have my reward multiplied later? A tough decision I had to make as a child, a decision which became skewed in favor of immediate acceptance as time progressed.
I had a very interesting childhood, whenever I was sick with ‘disrespect’, Dr. Mommy would prescribe and administer ‘a propa backsiding’ or a ‘good buss ass’. It may sound violent, but I don’t believe I turned out too bad. Would the other techniques work? What if during my disrespect full phase my mother prescribed a time out? “Go to your room Aldeam” or “No TV” just to give me some time to think about what I’ve done. I laugh at the very thought. I personally don’t think that would work for a tough head like me, a very stubborn boy.
All the adults in my immediate and extended family turned out to be well disciplined persons, and all had been served a good dish of butt whooping.
Traditionally speaking a spanking was believed to cure the following childhood diseases:

  • Back talking
  • Teeth hissing
  • Disobeying
  • Unauthorized excursions
  • Child spoiling
  • Idling
  • Late home arrivals
  • Bad grades at school
  • Early pregnancy
  • Hard-a-hearing

And many more unpublished diseases.
Spanking ‘created’ the perfect child.

Modern society is moving towards a more passive approach to child corrections. Physically beating a child may result in a legal charge. Many, however, still hold the traditional beliefs that sparing the rod spoils the child.

What are your views? Share below.
Also share some of your experiences with physical corrections.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

More Views on Homosexuality (Online Interview)

In yet another follow-up to the article: “BOOM BYE BYE: THE CLOSET IS FULL, THE GAYS ARE COMING OUT!”, a colleague of mine had something to say. I did not ask if he was a homosexual, I did not want to stir-up another kettle of fish but his views clearly supports the homosexual lifestyle. See the conversation below (1/4/15):


Sir good night

Mi feel di urge fi seh something now, bcuz of ur last two blog posts

I can give u a face to face interview with someone if u are searching for more information on the matter.

Know this, sexuality is personal experience for many, and no one man’s story is the same as another, but speaking to persons of a marginalized group is the only way to get a greater understanding before you write about them.

I too have some questions for you… What if your son was gay would u disown him? And if not but u would encourage him to change his ways because it is not right in the sight of God, according to your beliefs and he doesn’t want to what would u do?

Aldeam Facey

you have some very good points … only way to get answers is to talk to persons who are actually gay … well I would prefer a str8 son ….

i will teach him my beliefs and allow him to decide when older but if it really isnt a choice ……idk thats a tough 1

but how can it not be a choice tho…. its a hard issue to understand ……mind u …if its a choice …everybody has the right to choose enuh ….but to think persons are born that way… puzzling


As I said if that’s what u want it can be arranged. Gay people, well some are tired of the same narrative we see in mass media in Jamaica. U can tell a different side of the story which is why I appreciate ur blog posts. U wanting ur son to be straight is understandable

I think it’s a case of nature and nurture. And both can apply to one individual

Aldeam Facey


thats sound like a better answer

nurture must have a part in it


I always (say), no sensible human being would willingly subject themselves to constant scrutiny and abuse, be it emotional or physical. No one would CHOOSE to live like that

Having a choice means u have options that are viable to you

Aldeam Facey



If he is not attracted to girls does he have a viable option ?

Aldeam Facey

y wud 1 choose

gud point there

I would like to find deeper answers ….like y not girls there must be some basic reason ….whether genetics or culture


Lol I can only give u my response

Aldeam Facey

Yea I know


And since u seem the type that might shy away from a face to face convo about the matter

I shall respond here

Aldeam Facey



First of all, even the bible tells you, u will not understand everything. And so it is with human sexuality, it is dynamic and a different experience for almost everyone. I’m going to get grown now, I won’t use expletives out of respect for your religion. But u can’t explain why a heterosexual guy gets a kick out of eating the vagina and another doesn’t. How one can only be turned of if he pees on the girl and u did read right I said pee. Or how a guy uses something as simple as toes to determine the girl he is attracted to. PEOPLE are attracted to different things, whether it is through genetics or exposure that they are unaware of, they are.


Some men don’t find breast attractive, they think the vagina is repulsive. I have had convos with them so I know. They do not desire female companionship and actually find girls annoying. They cannot get a hard on for a girl, and that’s just their reality. The problem is Aldeam we can try to find out why but what avail ? To fix them?

Aldeam Facey

mmh thats true


Some don’t even know what caused it so how can we even begin to “fix them”. Btw I don’t believe they need fixing.

Aldeam Facey

It would be nice if everyone was of the same view but that’s never possible …. the problem is 1. LAW and 2. Living with persons who oppose

in the eyes of the law some acts are not legal


And which view should everyone have? And y?

Aldeam Facey

not everything can be legalized …if so there would be chaos


This is true, but (we) are talking about two consenting adults here, who are not harming anyone else

Aldeam Facey

well this is biased but I wud prefer if every1 was str8 … based on nature (reproduction) that’s how it was meant to be


Ok let me send a VN I hope u can listen

Aldeam Facey

well tru ….not harming any1 else if done privately …. but if everyone openly expresses themselves …gonna cause probs …whether its legal r not ….people will always have different views


0:44 – Audio Recording (regarding reproduction, some gays want to have kids as well and will do so through surrogacy, adopting or having intercourse with the opposite sex)


0:53 – Audio Recording ( Regarding the laws, it was once illegal for a black person to marry a white person, they would believe anything otherwise would be chaotic)

Aldeam Facey

They wud have sex with opposite gender to have kids!!! ….just to have kids …so y not continue ….how do they do it then if they have no ….feelings …you know


0:44 – Audio Recording ( Laws change as we become more knowledgeable)


Sir they do not desire female companionship

Just like a heterosexual guy performing anal sex with his gf… Is he gay? No what might ask then if u gonna engage in anal sex why not do it with a man…. Foolish, he doesn’t desire male companionship and that’s just a sexual act (that) he enjoys

Aldeam Facey

True but look at our culture ….if it becomes legal ….n the freedom is publicly expressed…. there will be blood. not everyone use logic and are willing to converse despite contradicting views


0:48 Audio Recording (People are willing to die for what they believe in, Ive never seen a revolution without blood)

Aldeam Facey

ohhhh got u ….I think anal sex with women strange as well ….for me it’s just the graphic thought …exp knowing the anus is an excretory organ!


Exactly lol… When Jamaicans think gay they think of the guy in his bedroom and what he does there

Aldeam Facey

yes!! its very hard not to

That’s why wen I think lesbians I’m like …I think its wrong ..but meh! ….but when I think 2 men ….very graphic and messy yo


And they have no knowledge of gay sex or anal sex and so they judge. I know u are Christian but I’m going to assume u have seen porn and least 5 times in ur life. If it is that u have seen an anal scene u will notice that the girl is very clean and nothing disgusting is coming out of her. People who engage in anal sex are aware that is an excretory organ and so they cleanse it, they buy what is called a douche and they clean themselves. They are not nasty contrary to popular belief. All of this might be graphic but it’s conversation that needs to be had


Another thing and I hope u blog about this !!! GAY men are NOT attracted to every straight guy they see. Just like heterosexuals they have types and don’t want everyone they see. And that’s why many heterosexuals don’t speak to gays because they feel they will “look dem” if u ask me some are insecure in themselves.

Aldeam Facey

JAH Know star!

well lol thats is true!


And so many things to talk about even looking at it from a patriarchal stand point and y society opposes it.

Aldeam Facey

yea …this is a very big topic globally ….it is going to be more accepted as time progresses


Another thing gay men are not just gully queens and shebada and effeminate men. Gay men are lawyers, doctors, soldiers, police men, thugs, bad man they come in the image of what society thinks a real man should look like. That’s the narrative I want to change. But those who can pass as straight will remain in the closet and sometimes I don’t blame them.

Aldeam Facey

oh zeeen


And I say that because I know for a fact at least one person from that social group who is gay.


And I believe that’s what society needs to see, that who they think and regard as man because of machismo are actually gay… Then what? Sexuality is dynamic and a unique experience and persons should not be penalized, abused physically or emotionally because they chose to love another consenting adult

Aldeam Facey

cool cool …my image of a gay is an effeminate man who loves fashion n is always well-groomed

n sing very well!


Loool at sing very well

Stereotypes and that’s y these convos need to be had

You’d probably be shocked if the truth were to be revealed to u

Aldeam Facey

lol tru


Some a di very same guys u pass going to Uwi gym, to church … But only the obvious ones will get the blame because they cannot or refuse to hide it

Aldeam Facey

oh zeeen! world is changing yaa!

God soon come (for those of us who believe)


Dare I say, gays are normal people


For those who believe indeed


I believe in a GOD but not the one of the bible, but that’s for a different debate and another day

Aldeam Facey

oh yes!!!! thats another big debate


44 – Audio Recording (Regarding ‘Elton’, when he was saying he was struggling and u said he knew it was wrong. That’s not necessarily the case struggling could mean society is telling him one thing but he is feeling another)

Aldeam Facey

anyway bro thnx for the update! Appreciate


No probs, knowledge is good, it makes u a better human being.

Feel free to share your thoughts below.

The final result of last week’s poll is 63% to 37% in favor of vaginal happiness.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

Robot Taxis: What Would We Do Without Them?

Robots. No, I speak not of the technologically advanced machinery designed for leisure or pleasure. I speak not of the complex combination of metals controlled by a computer software. I speak of the men who risk their freedom, their lives, their everything to take the stranded home. Okay, so again I make have exaggerated just a bit. But we all know the ‘Robots’ – the illegal taxi (public passenger vehicle) operators, the men trying to ‘eat a food’ while playing hide and seek with the police officers.


Legal taxis have a red license plate, government vehicles have yellow plates, demonstration vehicles have blue plates, commercial vehicles have green plates and white for private passenger vehicles. Where there are white plated vehicles operating as taxis, we refer to them as robots and this is an illegal activity. Robot taxis are very common in Jamaica, I see them everywhere I go. While I do not support illegal activities, I have found that the activities of these robots have become quite necessary. The community where I lived most of my life has a ‘transport system’ run completely by robots. So much so, that if a red plated vehicle drives by in hopes of getting a few passengers, the passengers would be reluctant to enter that strange machine.
I also realized that in the corporate areas, at nights the legal taxi operators are not present in numbers significant enough facilitate the transport of passengers, the robots are usually present to rescue.
The big problem exists when they are caught by the police. Whenever police men are around, numerous persons are unable to travel.

So why don’t the illegal operators get a ppv license plate?

The observer reported back in May, 2004 that taxi drivers were switching from red plates to white plates to avoid harassment by the police. It was reported that 70 persons made the switch. It appears the police are more vigilant of the red plated cars, which puts them in the spotlight.

Drivers may also be refusing to get a ppv license plate because of the difficulty associated with the application process. It is very time consuming and frustrating. Given that the transport system is not optimized, there are often not enough taxis to ensure the timely flow of passengers, couldn’t they speed up the process of the application? Those who actually are successful often times use unconventional methods. Thorough checks are quite necessary, car fitness is definitely an integral part of the process. But the entire system is corrupted. Did you know that you can purchase a certificate of fitness? A lot of work needs to be done to fix this messed up system.

The approach the government has taken to eradicate the robot operators makes no sense. Passengers can now be charged as much as 100,000 JMD for using the services of a robot taxi! Do you have any idea how much fish-back that could buy? Where there are no legal taxis available, what choice do you have?

I personally believe every passenger vehicle should be legal. For the safety of the passengers, and for accountability. However, the law enforcers should be a little more lenient in cases where no legal taxis are available. At least until the transport system is better regulated.

-Aldeam Facey 2015

WhatsApp: The Dreadful Blue Tick

I don’t think its necessary to define WhatsApp, but for those who are not familiar, it is a mobile application which allows free communication if there is an Internet connection. The application is now being used by hundreds of millions of persons world wide. The application rose to popularity so that even Facebook developed an interested and eventually acquired WhatsApp for 19 billion USD! The idea of “free” communication is one that most persons find appealing but is WhatsApp a blessing or a curse?

WhatsApp Logo
WhatsApp Logo

WhatsApp displays a tick when a message has been sent and two ticks when it has been received. Recently WhatsApp has introduced a few new features, you can now make calls and the ticks turn to blue when messages have been read. Does that remind anyone of a certain ‘r’ in the messaging app of a certain fallen company? Not calling any names here. For some persons these new features are a blessing but for me it has only led to pain and misery.

I don’t know if I have some kind of disorder or something, but I like my notifications bar clear. The annoying thing I notice with WhatsApp Is that whenever you have a new message, it doesn’t matter how many times you swipe away the notification, it pops right back up! My solution to this is opening the message even if I have no time to read and respond. The second party then assumes I am ignoring their message. Most of my contacts are females and you may already know that logic fails to prevail where emotional females are concerned (don’t kill the messenger kill the message). Try convincing one that you actually were not ignoring her! It would be easier to get a Seventh day Adventist to believe Sunday is the actual Sabbath (It’s so not).

Now WhatsApp has a brand new calling feature! Many of you had already activated it. In anticipating the issue I would have with this new feature I refused to click the links to activate that I had received. Somehow however, it has been activated on my phone! The hidden permissions these apps have yuh si! So now everyone can ‘see’ when you are online and call! If you refuse to answer said call then Portia’s wig will be torn off! I am really tired of tearing Portia’s wig.

This movement in communication really lacks substance. I have observed that persons tend to reply even when busy just so that the second party does not assume they are being ignored. These replies are usually what I would call “lying acronyms”. These include ‘LOL’, typed with a very straight face or ‘DWL’ with a little smile. Sometimes the response is a laugh in the form of a voice note! You expect me to believe you held your laugh until you were able to press the ‘voice note button’? To that I say, TSK.

The bad thing about responding when busy is that you may encounter a real chatty person. Have you ever had a conversation with someone on WhatsApp where every response is a question? This is an example:

Lory: The Mighty Beast! Whats up?

Me: Hey Lory. mi gud enuh. Hope all is well with you too.

Lory: Yes I’m fine! Its been a while tho. How’s school?

Me: School is ok. Thanks for the hail, was nice hearing from u.

Lory: So, how’s your supervisor?

Blue tick blue tick….

Lory: Did I strike a nerve?

Blue tick blue tick…. Looses friend…

I have heard of persons turning off their wifi, checking their messages, then turning on their wifi again to prevent the blue ticks from appearing on the sender’s phone! Who really has time for such childish things though? I respond when possible if not, wait! I am so tired of people trying to force a response! That is why some responses really lack tact and sweet sweet Deamy becomes the ‘meany’.

My Appeal

Dear WhatsApp,

Please remove that ‘seen’ tick, its really making me blue.


– Aldeam Facey 2015