Jamaican Windscreen Washers

Much like the Loada Man, a Jamaican windscreen washer is a self employed entrepreneur who provides a quite redundant service. I have always been annoyed by these aggressive guys who force you to accept their service whether or not you need it. But it was not until I had some personal experiences with them that I realized how forceful they can be towards drivers.

So a few months ago not long after having my car washed,  I saw a windscreen washer at a stoplight at the intersection of Hope Road and Trafalgar Road. With stained, heavily perforated, over-sized garments he walked towards my car. In his left hand he had a transparent soda bottle and in it there was a clear fluid, which I assume was water and what appeared to be leaves of a tree. No, not diluted soap; leaves! His sanity was questionable. As he stepped closer to the vehicle I knew he was coming for me. Thoughts ran through my head; What should I do? Should I scream and run? Cornered by other vehicles left me without an option. I frantically waved my hand at him, begging him not to ‘clean’ my spotless windshield. My requests were not observed as he looked at me through the windscreen and nodded ‘yes’. I waved again and shouted ‘NO!’. He looked at me again and nodded ‘yes’, with a creepy look that clearly says ‘just let it happen’. I let it happen. The light, much like our political system, just wouldn’t change to green fast enough. At the end of his session I gave him $15 and I just sat there in traffic, feeling dirty and used. He did a poor job, leaving the windscreen much worse than it was before.

Now, I’ve learned a lot regarding dealing with these windscreen washers, who may greet you with profanities or make requests for you to consume various parts of your mother.

How To Say No

• Apparently, much like a young lady in a short skirt is begging to be raped, driving around with a dirty windscreen is an invitation to these windscreen cleaners. Always have a clean windscreen.
• Turn on wipers as they approach.
• Wind down windows and aggressively say no.
• Let them know you have no money.

Now, while I am not a big fan of these guys, they are trying to make a living. I prefer them doing this than robbing people. So if you need your windscreen cleaned, feel free to let them do it for you. They will accept as little cash as you have. My primary issue is their attitude towards drivers, otherwise, they are tolerable. 

– Aldeam Facey 2016