Interdenominational Relationships: Can They Work?

When I was young, I had many interactions with young ladies of differing denominations, though extremely shy. But that was then, back in the days when I was a little handsome, when my charm preceded my corny wit, when I had many reasons to smile, when all was well with the world.

Then, I was very strong, I did not take advantage of the many opportunities that presented themselves, I was a fairly good ‘youte’. I was getting old and I thought it was time to find a close association with a female, just one female, the way it is supposed to be. I approached who would become my very first girlfriend. I was Seventh Day Adventist, she was a Sunday worshiper. We had many discussions about religion, the day we should set aside for holy time, what not eat and many more. Though we disagreed on many topics we had a good relationship, one that did not violate any commands. I am not sure why we parted but we did. We are friends now.

It is very interesting to note that my ex stopped eating pork

It is very interesting to note that my ex stopped eating pork

The primary difference between the Seventh day Adventist group and the other denominations is that we believe in the Sabbath day. When God made the world he rested on the 7th day which is Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. He blessed the day and set it aside for rest and worship. This commandment includes the household as even your servants are required to rest. Read Exodus 20: 8-11.

My next relationship started years later with a young lady affiliated with the Apostolic group and Jah know star, ashalama shalama shalama! We had a very interesting relationship. Firstly I must say that she was hands down the sexiest woman I had ever seen! Neglecting the fact that she had more curves that the Bog Walk Gorge, while with her my eyes never strayed. I was completely satisfied with her and her happiness was my primary concern. Our entire relationship was one single conversation, that never ended. quite possibly, we were too attached to each other, but I didn’t mind. I’m not an emotional guy, a macho beast is expressed in my phenotype and genotype, but I can honestly say I was deeply in love with this one. I believed we would eventually get married as we had no significant problems. We discussed differences in religion and I must say she was coming around to the truth but wanted to avoid what she called ‘apostasy’. The most significant issue was whether to raise our children as Adventist or wrong otherwise. I was so serious about that relationship that I had a discussion with my pastor regarding my intention to marry this lady one day. That’s when I found out Seventh day Adventist pastors cannot marry interdenominational couples.
Long story extremely short, we parted for a reason that had nothing to do with religious beliefs.

I thereafter I found that most of the women I date are not Adventist and in all cases, though very brief the interactions, we never had a significant problem with beliefs. I’ve only dated a few Adventists, awesome ladies, but again they never worked.

There is the question of whether or not you and an interdenominational partner are “equally yoked”. Obviously, where beliefs are concerned you would not be, but the same may be true for a partner who is of the same denominational group! If your partner is not pulling you away from your faith in any way, there shouldn’t be much of an issue. Remember, the possibility exist that your wife or husband of the same denomination can change their beliefs post marriage. Is that enough reason for an annulment?  One must consider that differences in beliefs vary even to the individual level.


Though variety is the spice of life, the basis of any relationship is common ground. As such it is better to be with someone with whom you share similar beliefs. My advice would be for you to aim for a relationship with an individual who shares your beliefs. However, happiness is a critical relationship trait that must be satisfied. What if no one with whom you share the same belief makes you happy? What if no one is interested or available? If happiness can only be found elsewhere and you are able to live with differences in beliefs, then by all means, pursue happiness.
An interdenominational relationship can work, but it requires more work.

– Aldeam Facey 2015

9 thoughts on “Interdenominational Relationships: Can They Work?

  1. Ice says:

    This was interesting. While not ideal, interdenominational relationships do have success stories. If two persons can respect what each other believe in, whether you deem it right or wrong there should be few problems. As for the children and their faith, I’d say let the dominant spouse win that battle.

    1. Aldeam Facey says:

      Dominant? … So u mean the female lol

      1. Don says:

        Errr… this is very telling 😉

  2. Don says:

    Very interesting topic, Interesting arguments too. How do we measure what “more work” is? What interdenominational relationships require is the same as all relationships RESPECT. Respect for the individual in an all-encompassing way. If you respect everything about your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend, including their faith, and maintain it any relationship can work.

    You sir, seem destined for one of these very relationships. So let me offer a bit of advice: If you are to be more Christ-like accept that there are no right or “wrong” faiths, just yours and others you have not applied to your life.

    As for children, teach them to abide by Christian principles, have them experience both denominations, then let them decide for themselves.

  3. zharamarie says:

    Interdenominational relationships can work, especially if both persons are Sunday Worshipers. However, I think that when there is an Adventist involved, it gets difficult, because the belief that majority just cannot seem to grasp, is that of Saturday as the day of worship.

  4. kei says:

    This is an interesting read, Aldeam… You probably know that the word “sabbath” means “work stoppage”. (Old Testament scholar Walter Brueggemann has done commendable work on the Sabbath over many years. He presented a study series in ’09 called “The Other Way” at a church in the US which largely examines the importance of sabbath in the context of imperial dominance which Daniel and his companions met in Nebuchadnezzar’s palace; the series is on YouTube. It’s also a good companion to his short book “Sabbath as Resistance: Saying No to the Culture of Now”, a worthwhile read. Check out, as well, a 4 minute video in which Rev Dr Marva Dawn speaks of “Worship as a Royal Waste of Time”, and an excellent sermon by Rev Dr Barbara Brown Taylor called “Sacred Downtime” (a favourite of mine), all on YouTube.) If we take sabbath to mean just that – cessation from work as holiness unto God – then all practising, devout Christians – Saturday and Sunday worshipers alike – observe the Sabbath, in theory and practice. Granted, observing the Sabbath is a deep commitment that includes, but transcends, the weekly routine of corporate, public worship. In the recent words of a local theologian, observing the Sabbath is essentially: “… to withdraw from the pressures of production and consumption, the constant pattern of the empire, which always to do more, achieve more, work more, spend more, eat more, drink more, possess more, control more”. It appears, then, that the designation of sabbath is a human technicality regarding Exo 20.8-11 (and Gen 2.2-3, Lev 19.3, etc). (I may have misunderstood, but this is the same idea I get in your post “Christmas: A Marketing Scheme”. As one who attends Sunday worship, and who is grateful for and enjoys the Christmas season, I readily acknowledge that it’s difficult to deduce with certainty the precise day of Christ’s birth. The good news of Christmas outshines debates of historical technicalities and accuracy: “He is born! Emmanuel, God with us!” That is the wonder and blessed hope of Christmas.) All that to say (LOL!), every person who has an encounter with Christ and comes to faith in Him – bearing in mind the essence of sabbath – keeps, believes in and practices sabbath, be it on Saturday or Sunday. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Aldeam Facey says:

      “Saturday and Sunday worshipers alike – observe the Sabbath” I disagree here. The sabbath designated by god is ONE specific day……Proof? article coming

      1. kei says:

        That’s what I was trying to convey in my reply, i.e. the specificity of the SDA position may overshadow the essence of the sabbath… When you post the article, I’ll read your support for “one specific day”, and comment.

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